Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Teen Stress and Anxiety: Expert Tips from Jenn Gaskin, Educator, Mom, and Yoga Teacher

Today's generation of children has a remarkable knack for deconstructing the world around them. They reject judgment, advocate for inclusivity, and go to great lengths to ensure every disenfranchised voice has a seat at the table. And let’s be honest—no one calls out hypocrisy quite like a teenager! Joining Cathy and Meredith to dive into an insightful discussion, is their friend, Jenn Gaskin. Tune in to learn more about Jenn, the challenges she’s observed with today’s generation, and the positives and negatives of their approach to life. The discussion touches on adolescent distress tolerance, managing teenagers, and supporting their nervous system and anxiety. Jenn also shares practical tools to help kids navigate stress and anxiety, along with advice for parents to help their children thrive through adolescence. Don’t miss this insightful conversation—start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] How Cathy met their guest, Jenn Gaskin.
[0:04:30] More incredible details about our guest, Jenn Gaskin.
[0:06:30] The changes Jenn’s noticed, for better or worse, with our kids today.
[0:07:55 The primary no-no with today’s generation.
[0:09:47] The things that worry her about this generation.
[0:12:20] They delve into a discussion about the level of adolescent distress tolerance.
[0:16:15] The [not] “cliff notes version” Jenn wants parents to know about managing teenagers, their nervous systems, and anxiety.
[0:24:50] Coping with anxiety: Jenn unpacks practical tools to help kids navigate anxiety.
[0:30:15] How Jenn helped her own five children manage their anxiety.
[0:34:00] Advice to parents navigating their children through adolescence.
[0:36:15] A story of how the home atmosphere influences the thinking capability of students.
[0:41:20] Sign up for the Village Mailing list to hear about upcoming workshops.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Jenn Gaskin on LinkedIn
Jenn Gaskin
Jenn Gaskin Email
Gaskin Tutoring
The Price of Privilege
The Irreducible Needs Of Children
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Debunking the Myths: The Power of a Liberal Arts Education

Most kids have no idea what a liberal arts education really is, or why it might be a great choice!  Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we discuss a liberal arts education, why it’s beneficial, and so much more! We delve into what makes a liberal arts college unique, how it differs from a traditional university, the benefits of this kind of education, and what a liberal arts degree can be used for. We go on to discuss Meredith’s experience of being a liberal arts major and how it gave her an exploratory mindset before sharing our take on how kids can create relatively ordinary careers after studying abstract liberal arts degrees. We even tell you about 3+2/4+1 programs and how they work. Lastly, we remind you of the benefits of choosing a liberal arts program for your studies and encourage you not to ignore that as an option. Thanks for tuning in!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:50] Today’s topic of discussion: defending liberal arts majors. 
[0:02:54] We explain what a liberal arts education actually is. 
[0:07:52] Some examples of liberal arts colleges in the USA. 
[0:09:57] What a liberal arts degree can be used for career-wise. 
[0:13:19] The benefits of having a liberal arts education (according to Meredith).
[0:22:56] How to make a ‘normal’ career from an abstract liberal arts degree. 
[0:31:01] A breakdown of what the 3+2/4+1 programs are and how they work. 
[0:33:14] We encourage you not to discount liberal arts programs as options for studies. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The Real Talk on Teen Substance Use: Bella’s Story and What Parents Need to Know

Have you equipped your teen to make informed choices about substance use? During this episode, Bella, a Senior at a Boarding School back East, joins us to share the inside scoop of what’s really going on at teen parties. Since the start of her high school career, she has been involved in advocating for teens with substance abuse issues. Join us for a look behind the scenes at what motivates kids to use substances at a young age including social pressure and the problem of mental health. We discuss the age-old belief that it’s safer to allow your kids to drink at home, and Bella offers her perspective on how easy it is for adults to tell if a young person is abusing substances. You’ll also hear about the level of access that suburban teens have to illegal substances, and Bella’s opinion on what it might look like to nurture an open and honest relationship with your child from a young age. This conversation also emphasizes the importance of educating your kids rather than punishing them. Thanks for tuning in.

Mastering Letters of Recommendation: How to Stand Out in College Applications

Letters of recommendation are so important in college applications, especially in the more selective colleges, and today, we are delving into why they need to be prioritized, the mistakes we see kids make, who to ask for letters, and more. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the role of letters of recommendation in college applications, the dangers of focusing on the number of letters you have over the quality of them, how it can become the determining factor for whether or not you get into a college, and so much more! We delve into the intricacies of the questionnaire the recommender will have to ask you before discussing the kinds of people teenagers should ask for letters of recommendation from. We even talk about why building relationships with teachers is imperative in building communication skills and how that will help future letters of recommendation and even make learning more fun. Finally, we pinpoint which kids get the best letters of recommendation and explain why they’re always the hardest workers. Thanks for listening! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:30] Today’s topic of discussion: letters of recommendation. 
[0:03:23] The role of letters of recommendation in college applications. 
[0:03:58] Why letters of recommendation are so important in applications. 
[0:09:48] Where things go off the rails when it comes to these letters. 
[0:13:53] All about the questionnaires that you have to fill out with the letter. 
[0:15:32] The logistics surrounding asking for letters of recommendation.
[0:17:25] The importance of developing relationships with your teachers. 
[0:22:15] Why the kids who work hard get the best letters. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Purpose-Driven Parenting: Helping Your Teen Find Their Path & Boost Their Well-Being

Having a sense of purpose has been scientifically proven to increase your overall quality of life! So many college application essays are based on identity and most kids who find writing those essays easier have a sense of purpose already! Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are discussing the importance of developing a sense of purpose in teenagers. In this discussion, you’ll hear what purpose actually is, why having purpose is imperative, how you can help kids find their own, and how your own identity as a parent can affect your child’s sense of self. We talk about how your purpose will contribute to your overall wellness before delving into how you can find your purpose by identifying your values and getting out of your comfort zone. We even tell you why creating boundaries can inspire your kids into action! Finally, we encourage you to try a values exercise with your children. Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:59] Today’s topic: helping seniors prepare essays about their identities. 
[0:03:11] We define what purpose actually is and why it’s so important to have. 
[0:06:30] How to help kids figure out what their purpose could be. 
[0:10:07] Understanding how having a sense of purpose increases your overall quality of life. 
[0:14:30] How your sense of purpose as a parent will affect your child’s own identity. 
[0:20:06] Why purpose contributes to overall wellness and happiness. 
[0:24:30] Getting out of your comfort zone and identifying your values to find your purpose. 
[0:27:41] How to help your kids past procrastination, anxiety, and fear of essay writing. 
[0:31:01] Purpose changing through life and something we’ve done that ties to our purpose. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Every Move You Make, I’ll Be Watching You: Why Modeling is Your Parenting Secret Weapon
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Navigating Teen Love: What Parents Need to Know About Dating, Boundaries, and Healthy Relationships

When adolescents start dating, it can be far more intense, serious, and potentially unhealthy than parents may be aware of. Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are discussing all things teen love and relationships and sharing advice for parents who may not know how to handle it. In this conversation, we dig into why relationship talks with your teen might feel uncomfortable but are crucial to start before the need becomes urgent. We cover what to keep in mind when your child becomes interested in dating, then walk parents through 10 signs of both healthy and unhealthy relationships, discuss how modeling good relationships can impact your kids, go over common mistakes in teen dating, and explain how a strong sense of self can empower teens in their romantic relationships. We also discuss why boundaries are imperative, why you need to meet your child’s boyfriend/girlfriend and their family, and the danger of too much permissiveness. Finally, we touch on the extra layer of complexity LGBTQIA dating adds to teenage relationships. You don’t want to miss this one, so be sure to tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Today’s topic: love and dating in teens. 
[0:02:50] Why having relationship conversations with your teen can be uncomfortable. 
[0:03:40] What to consider as your children become interested in dating. 
[0:08:30] 10 Signs of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship to teach your teenagers about. 
[0:09:46] The importance of modeling healthy relationships for your kids. 
[0:11:58] Some of the mistakes we see teenagers make when it comes to dating. 
[0:16:30] The kids that are the most successful and most problematic in relationships. 
[0:18:00] Meeting to meet your kid’s partner and be aware of each family’s rules. 
[0:22:31] Why the permissiveness around relationships is a slippery slope. 
[0:24:56] The layer of complexity that having an LGBTQ+ child adds to teen dating. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

More Ways Independent College Counselors Annoy Us

So many parents and teenagers fall into the traps independent college counselors set to sell their business as a foolproof way to get into good colleges. Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are here to discuss why that simply isn’t possible! There are no guarantees when it comes to college applications and focusing on what you think colleges may want instead of placing emphasis on the individual and what is best for them is hugely problematic. In this conversation, you’ll hear all about what irritates us about independent college counselors, what is missing in the college admission profession, and how we do things differently. We break down some of the problematic messaging these companies use before reminding listeners that families and teenagers have a choice when it comes to how they handle the college admissions process. We also discuss why candidacy building and having an application persona is simply marketing. Finally, we stress the importance of values and authenticity when helping adolescents develop into their adult selves. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to hear more! 
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:01:25] Our irritation with companies taking advantage of the college admissions process. 
[0:04:20] The dangers of ignoring the individual and focusing on what colleges want alone. 
[0:08:12] What is missing in the college admission profession and why it’s problematic. 
[0:10:34] A breakdown of some of the problematic college admission messaging. 
[0:10:42] The benefits of competitive environments, even if you do not win. 
[0:13:14] How to make room for time-consuming sports that you love and other activities. 
[0:18:48] Why we shouldn’t expect teenagers to do meaningful research. 
[0:21:34] A reminder that families have a choice in how they approach this process. 
[0:26:00] Why candidacy building and creating an application persona is just marketing. 
[0:26:42] Dangers of approaching college applications like this and the importance of values. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Lessons From This Year’s Early College Application Deadlines

The college application process can be brutal and anxiety-provoking for parents, teenagers, and, in particular, college counselors! In this episode, we reflect on our experiences at the end of this season and even share some advice for parents approaching applications with their teens. In this conversation, you’ll hear all about why college counselors hate November 1st, the debilitating anxiety that teens may face during this time, the different ways they deal with it, and the importance of reading, writing, and communication skills. We even share some advice for parents who are planning for their juniors to apply, why so many kids only start preparing after summer, the importance of being realistic about your kids’ skills and encouraging them to form their own beliefs, and so much more! We go on to talk about what makes for a successful application process, what students who are meeting the deadline and doing well are doing right, the importance of being positive throughout, and when to hold back on feedback as a parent. Finally, we caution parents against hiring multiple college counselors and encourage them to empower their kids to make decisions for themselves and celebrate every single application they send. Thanks for listening in! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Why November 1st is so frustrating for college counselors. 
[0:03:57] Today’s topic: some reflections on this application process. 
[0:04:14] The extreme anxiety teens are feeling and how they cope with it. 
[0:06:08] Some advice for parents of juniors about planning for applications. 
[0:16:31] The potential dangers of letting applicants prepare during the summer. 
[0:19:35] Why getting your child ready for application writing is the parent’s job. 
[0:21:05] The importance of encouraging kids to read the news and form opinions. 
[0:22:40] What kids who are successful in meeting the November 1 deadline are doing. 
[0:27:18] Why kids who have had to manage a busy schedule do well in their applications. 
[0:31:49] When giving feedback on these applications to your teen is and isn’t helpful.
[0:35:25] Why we don’t recommend hiring multiple college counselors. 
[0:37:25] Encouraging parents to create an environment that is conducive to working. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Navigating the Party Scene: What Every Parent Should Know

When it comes to drinking, partying, and substance abuse, there’s a lot of stuff your teenager won’t tell you – but we will! Today, we get into all the challenges that come with teenagers and partying, what to expect as a parent, and how to start discussing these things with your kid before it’s an issue. We break down the types of limitations and rules to put in place while also making sure they feel comfortable calling you if they need help. With drinking at home, we talk about how to model healthy behavior for your kids before discussing supervised drinking, including when you should do it, and when you absolutely should not. Our conversation also gets into the transition to high school, why your kids might suddenly be much more interested in parties, and how to assess when you should allow them to go. Additionally, we cover what to do if you get a call that your kid is wasted, when to have a conversation with them, and what the consequences should be. Tune in to hear the full conversation on teenagers, partying, and how to safely navigate this tricky subject!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:33] What we’ll be talking about today regarding teen parties.
[0:02:08] How we would approach rules and limits with teen parties and drinking.
[0:04:31] Modeling healthy drinking behavior for your kids.
[0:06:36] Cultural considerations to take into account with alcohol.
[0:07:00] Different definitions of supervised drinking, and which ones to avoid.
[0:11:48] The problem of binge drinking and how to address it.
[0:13:30] Easy ways to discuss substances with your kids before it’s an issue.
[0:15:16] Partying expectations kids face after the transition to high school.
[0:16:54] When to start letting your kids go to parties.
[0:18:34] Encouraging kids to take care of each other.
[0:20:07] What to do if you get a call that your kid is wasted.
[0:20:55] How to discuss it with them afterwards.
[0:22:20] Next steps: contacting parents, and when to call the school.
[0:24:33] Making sure your kids know not to party at a school event.
[0:27:08] Having a conversation about edibles and fentanyl.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Bullying in High School: How to Step In, Speak Up, and End the Drama

Bullying is annoying and damaging, leaving a trail of suffering in its wake; and we hate that. Today, we unwrap bullying from head to toe to bring you helpful information on navigating this complicated situation (and to help you understand just how difficult it is!). We begin with our definition of bullying, how it’s been normalized throughout American culture, troubling statistics that reveal how rampant it truly is, and why we believe that bullying is inherently bad. We explore the importance of having empathy for both bullies and the bullied, how parents and other adults should react when they witness a child being bullied, how parents should support their children after a bullying event, and why we should almost always believe our kids when they say they are being bullied. We end with a reminder to be loving, caring, and understanding when dealing with bullies or kids who have been bullied, and we explore what to do when an adult is the perpetrator. 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:06] Why we absolutely loathe bullying.
[0:02:55] Defining bullying, and exploring the rampant bullying culture at play in America. 
[0:06:17] How bullying has been normalized in schools from the very first initiation (hazing).  
[0:11:34] Troubling statistics and examples about bullying among the American youth. 
[0:14:30] Why bullying is inherently bad, and common traits found in most bullies. 
[0:20:04] The importance of having empathy for both the bully and the bullied.
[0:21:51] What to do as an adult when you see bullying happening in front of you.
[0:25:21] How parents react to having a bullying kid versus seeing their child get bullied.
[0:27:00] Why most kids don’t lie about bullying, and exploring why they would.
[0:29:00] More advice for parents on how to deal with bullying and how to support their child.
[0:37:13] A reminder that bullies also need love and understanding.
[0:39:34] Final words of wisdom toward our dream of eradicating bullying. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram