Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

What is Teen Life Coaching?

Teen coaching is about helping teenagers with academics, college, self-esteem, self-awareness, and so much more! It’s basically all about coaching them in life! Today we are peeling back the layers of what we do every day and explaining all things teenage life coaching to you. Listening in, you’ll hear what teen life coaching actually is, why we got into it and why Cathy started Village Coaches, how we approach our work, the importance of trust, rapport, and respect, and much more! We then discuss the most common topics we discuss in coaching sessions before we talk about why coaching isn’t right for every kid and what we do not do in sessions. We even delve into some examples of how we build relationships with our clients. Finally, we share how vulnerable we get with teens in our coaching sessions and how that builds rapport. To hear all this and so much more, press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:10] What teen life coaching actually is. 
[0:03:05] Why we started coaching teenagers. 
[0:09:12] How we approach our work and the importance of building a relationship with the teenagers we coach. 
[0:17:36] The most common teen life coaching topics we delve into and how we know what to focus on. 
[0:32:38] Why coaching is not right for every kid, who is and isn’t a good fit, and what we avoid doing in sessions. 
[0:47:55] How vulnerable we get with our kids in sessions.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How To Have a Productive Conversation About Grades

Typically, teenagers aren’t always super open, available, or excited to tell you about their report cards. That’s why, in today’s episode, we’re spilling the beans about how you can have a productive, constructive, and empathetic conversation about grades with your teen and help them go from grade-obsessed panic to independently accepting responsibility for their academic performance. Tune in as we discuss the importance of checking in regularly, asking open-ended questions, being curious about your kid’s academic life, getting additional context from their teachers, focusing on performance rather than achievement, and much more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:41] Counterproductive ways our parents talked to us about our report cards.
[0:03:05] How we coach kids (and parents) to discuss their academic performance.
[0:04:44] Why you shouldn’t make the conversation all about the letter/number grade.
[0:07:00] Open-ended, reflective ways to talk about grades before grades come out.
[0:09:51] The role that schools and teachers play in cultivating a fixation on grades.
[0:12:58] Reasons to talk about learning and performance rather than achievement.
[0:15:39] Making a habit of checking in regularly versus only discussing poor grades.
[0:18:22] Strategies to help your teens succeed, regardless of external circumstances.
[0:25:13] How to know if a tutor would be a helpful tool for your teen.
[0:26:37] When it’s appropriate to contact the school or a teacher about a specific grade.
[0:31:25] Our opinion on why tutors should be temporary.
[0:34:42] Key themes and takeaways from this conversation.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Pick a College Major Wisely

Embarking on the journey of higher education often begins with a pivotal decision: choosing a college major. Choosing a college major wisely is crucial because it sets the foundation for your academic journey and, to an extent, your professional path. Making a thoughtful choice can align your studies with your interests, skills, and career aspirations, increasing the likelihood of satisfaction and success in your future endeavors. It can also be a stressful time for parents who often worry about their child's future, but fear not, we are here to help! In this episode, we delve into selecting a major that aligns with your passions, skills, and future aspirations. We discuss how to uncover your passion, what majors should be avoided, and common mistakes students when picking majors. Discover why it's okay not to have a clear-cut career path before stepping into college and the benefits of cultivating broad interests beforehand. We also unpack the pitfalls of prioritizing monetary gain over passion, the risks of choosing high-demand majors for the wrong reasons, effective approaches for students to explore the diversity of available majors, changing majors during college, and much more! Join us as we navigate the complexities of selecting a college major and how to empower students and parents in this crucial decision-making process. Tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:00] Introduction and outline of today’s topic: how to pick a college major wisely.
[0:02:18] Why your child does not need to have a clear career direction before college.
[0:03:55] Cultivating your child's broad interests ahead of applying for college.
[0:07:15] Leveraging what your child does not like to uncover their interests.
[0:10:15] Working with students who are certain about their interests and career path.
[0:11:50] High-demand majors that get picked for the wrong reasons.
[0:13:52] Approaches for helping students to learn about the different majors available.
[0:17:34] The pitfalls of choosing majors solely for monetary gain.
[0:18:42] Changing majors during college and why it is normal.
[0:20:28] Advice for students and parents worried about future career opportunities.
[0:24:15] Discover the majors that are sequential in coursework structure.
[0:25:13] Common mistakes students make when choosing their majors.
[0:30:14] Closing comments and final takeaways.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How Do I Prepare My Kid for College Admissions?

The college admissions process can be intimidating for even the brightest of students. And, as a parent, you might be wondering how you can help your child prepare for this important chapter. That’s where we come in! We use today’s conversation to get into three key qualities that will help teens take on the college admissions process with confidence, ease, and even excitement! Tuning in you’ll learn why these characteristics are so helpful within the admissions process, how you can foster these qualities within your children, and why it’s never too early (or too late) to start. Discover the immense value of self-awareness, how a healthy reading habit can encourage critical thinking, methods for inspiring intellectual curiosity in your kids, and much more! Don't miss out — equip your child for a brighter academic future today!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:21] An overview of today’s topic: how to prepare your kids for college admissions.
[0:02:59] The value of fostering self-awareness in your kids from a young age.
[0:04:52] Ways that schooling can undermine self-knowledge and reflection.
[0:07:24] How to help cultivate self-awareness in your kids early on.
[0:09:50] Modeling self-awareness as a parent and how to get better at it.
[0:14:15] Why fostering a love of reading from a young age is so beneficial.
[0:19:22] Thoughts on audiobooks, graphic novels, and other avenues into reading.
[0:23:08] Other forms of media, like podcasts, that introduce youngsters to good writing.
[0:27:13] Advice on how to foster intellectual curiosity in children.
[0:31:18] Unpacking how the rigidity of schooling can fail to encourage intellectual curiosity.
[0:33:05] What parents and teachers can do to cultivate intellectual curiosity in children.
[0:36:22] The benefits of deciding to ‘not travel like a tourist’ with your kids.
[0:40:28] Why you should encourage these qualities for more than just the college admissions process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
SYTWTY Podcast Episode: Is Private School or Public School Better?
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview with Village Founder, Cathy Chen: From College Drop-Out to Harvard Grad

Welcome to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Today we are doing an exclusive interview with our very own Cathy Chen to get to know her a little bit better. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about her early life as an immigrant, why she wasn’t a ‘good girl’, her college experience, and how her childhood influenced her career choices. We delve into her journey at Menlo before discussing Village Coaches and how it’s changed her life. Cathy tells us the best and worst parts of her job and finally, tells us about her private life and why she thinks she would be a Broadway star in an alternate universe. This episode is fun-filled and entertaining as we get personal with our very own host, so be sure to press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:09] Cathy tells us about her upbringing as an immigrant. 
[0:03:58] Being a ‘naughty’ child, her not-so-great grades, and getting into college. 
[0:07:53] How Cathy’s formative years influenced her career decisions.
[0:16:14] The different roles Cathy had at Menlo School and her journey there. 
[0:20:33] What led to the creation of Village Coaches and how she formed it.
[0:26:15] Cathy tells us what she enjoys most and least about her work with teenagers.
[0:31:57] Her life outside of work and why she’d be on Broadway if she weren’t doing this.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview with Jon Burdick, Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University

Have you ever wondered how to make your character stand out to impress those highly selective institutions? The answer may surprise you - it's all about being effortlessly yourself. Joining us on the show today is Jon Burdick, a good friend and former colleague with an impressive track record, including positions as Vice Provost and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid at the University of Rochester and, more recently, as Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University. Tune in to hear Jon's insights on admissions trends, understanding 'highly rejective' schools, and his advice for those considering highly selective institutions like Cornell. He stresses the point of understanding your why and provides valuable insights on school rankings. We then dive into a discussion on character and its role in the admissions process, and he highlights why it's crucial to show integrity (and how easy it is to spot disingenuous line items on applications!) He continues to share his thoughts on AI tools and other tools he’d like to see schools leverage. Be sure not to miss out on this insightful conversation with an admissions professional, so start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] A special welcome and introduction to our guest, Jon Burdick!
[0:03:45] He shares some of the biggest trends and changes happening in admissions.
[0:06:45] Highly rejective schools: what it means and the process it entails.
[0:08:05] Jon’s general advice to those pursuing highly selective schools (like Cornell).
[0:09:50] Why it’s worth asking yourself why you want to go to a particular school.
[0:11:00] What Jon would like families to understand about school rankings.
[0:13:10] Advice to parents and students on how to approach rankings when applying.
[0:15:25] His thoughts on character and its role in the admissions process.
[0:17:00] How to demonstrate character in a way that matters to highly selective schools.
[0:19:00] Why integrity is crucial and why it’s easy to spot a disingenuous line item.
[0:20:00] AI tools: their use (or misuse) and potential impact on the admissions process.
[0:24:00] His thoughts on students using AI for writing purposes.
[0:26:10] Other tools Jon would like to see schools leverage (like interviews and tests).
[0:31:00] Why he believes life is not a straight sprint.
[0:33:00] Stripping it back to the things we know, for sure, about humans.
[0:34:25] Why good teaching actually matters and finding ways to support teachers.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Jonathan Burdick on LinkedIn
Jonathan Burdick on X
Ask Dean B
The Character Initiative
Mastery Transcript Consortium
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Is Greek Life Right For My Child?

Have you ever wondered what happens behind fraternities and sororities’ closed doors on college campuses? Is your child interested in participating in Greek life but you are not sure if it is the right fit for them? In this episode, we delve into the heart of fraternity and sorority life, exploring what it means to be part of a Greek organization, the pros and cons of joining, and the unique experiences it offers. From the camaraderie and networking opportunities to the controversies and misconceptions, we lay it all out for you, helping you decide whether Greek life is right for your child. Gain insights into the aspects your child needs to be aware of before joining, the mysterious rush process, the responsibilities that come with pledging, and much more. Whether you're a curious student, a concerned parent, or simply an intrigued listener, we offer valuable advice to help you make the right decision for your child. To uncover the secrets of this fundamental aspect of the college experience, tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:45] Episode outline: should your kid join a sorority or fraternity?
[0:02:15] Cathy talks about her college sorority experience.
[0:04:00] Meredith shares why she chose not to join a sorority. 
[0:07:42] How Greek Life can vary from college to college.
[0:11:02] Learn about the benefits and value of participating in Greek Life.
[0:15:00] Hear about the downsides of participating in a sorority or fraternity.
[0:19:15] Insights into “rush”, its purpose, and what it entails.
[0:25:08] What parents need to accept about Greek Life: substances and partying.
[0:27:35] Essential advice and recommendations for parents.
[0:31:05] The ins and outs of the pledging process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview With Former Student, Maya Donato On Her Unconventional Path To Success

Sometimes it is very difficult for parents to understand the experiences and emotions of their teenagers and it’s almost as if they have forgotten what it’s like to be a teen. Today’s guest is quite close to her teenage experience and has created an incredible mentorship program to help teenage girls through their own adolescent years. She also happens to be a past student of Cathy’s! Maya Donato joins us to discuss her unconventional college experience, feelings of not fitting in socially and how to combat them, and the importance of practicing self-love. We talk about the benefits of giving teens a degree of experience before discussing how to cultivate gratitude and positive thinking into teenagers’ lives. Finally, Maya shares some invaluable advice about cutting out negative self-talk and developing a good relationship with yourself in order to be happy. You don’t want to miss out on this truly inspirational conversation so tune in now! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Introducing our guest, Cathy’s former student, Maya Donato. 
[0:02:24] The reason Maya started her mentorship program for teenage girls. 
[0:05:53] The importance of allowing teenagers to have a degree of independence. 
[0:10:50] Maya tells us about her high school and college application experience. 
[0:19:07] Why unconventional college experiences are just as valuable as the norm. 
[0:22:34] Maya shares some advice for students who don’t fit into their school socially. 
[0:26:37] How having adult friends and friends from other schools can help teens in school. 
[0:30:37] Maya’s struggles with self-love and the importance of practicing self-acceptance. 
[0:32:22] Some ways to cultivate gratitude and incorporate mindfulness into teenagers’ lives. 
[0:34:42] The importance of cutting off negative thoughts in order to practice self-love. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Maya Donato
Maya Donato Email Address
Maya Donato on Instagram
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

To transfer or not to transfer? That is the question.

Is your child contemplating the big leap of transferring colleges? And are you unsure of whether you should encourage them to persevere, or help them find an institution that’s a better fit? College transfers can be fraught with uncertainty. Whether it's from a community college to a more selective university, or a transfer between four-year institutions, it's a decision that can reshape a student's academic and personal trajectory. That’s why we’re using today’s episode to delve into the intricacies of transferring, like knowing when it makes sense to transfer (and when it doesn’t), how to navigate the process across different institutions, and what you can do to support your child if they’re unhappy at their school. We also discuss the many strengths of community college, the type of students who could be well-suited to that type of environment, and the robust support they provide to those wanting to transfer. Tune in as we help you navigate the transfer process, from pushing through challenges to recognizing when it's genuinely time to consider other options!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:44] An overview of what we mean by transferring.
[0:02:14] Transferring from community college to four-year university.
[0:03:24] The type of students who might benefit from community college.
[0:05:00] Transferring from a four-year school to another four-year school.
[0:08:25] When it makes sense for a student to transfer.
[0:10:23] Knowing when it’s not a good idea to transfer a student.
[0:11:16] What to know about transferring to get into a more selective institution.
[0:14:11] The importance of having a compelling reason to transfer.
[0:17:37] Understanding why kids push against the idea of community college.
[0:20:04] Knowing when community college is not the right fit.
[0:21:53] How to approach coursework if you’re planning to transfer.
[0:25:10] One of Meredith’s favorite admission stories.
[0:28:01] A reminder of how monumental the transition from high school to college is.
[0:30:05] How to support your child if they’re unhappy at their school.
[0:31:39] Finding belonging in college as a minority student.
[0:32:47] When Honor’s programs can be a good fit.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Think You Have a ‘Lazy’ Kid? Here’s What’s Really Happening

Ever found yourself putting things off for later, even when you know you shouldn't? Yup, that's procrastination. In today's episode, we break down why all of us, including teenagers, tend to postpone certain tasks, and what can be done to address this. Many people, parents included, often think of procrastination as nothing more than a delay tactic or that it’s simply the result of being lazy or forgetful. But procrastination is far more complex than that. It can be a coping mechanism to help you deal with difficult emotions or avoid the pressure of perfectionism. It can even signal something more serious, like depression or anxiety. But there is hope! Join us today as we lay out actionable strategies; from understanding the heart of procrastination to embracing mindfulness, time-blocking, and crafting procrastination-resistant environments. Remember, change isn't always a straight path, but with commitment and the right tools, you can guide your teen toward a more productive, delay-free life!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:20] What procrastination is and why we do it.
[0:04:20] The most common things teens procrastinate about.
[0:06:06] Why procrastination can often be a warning sign of something else.
[0:07:11] Chronic procrastination and its side effects.
[0:07:49] How perfectionism can lead to procrastination.
[0:08:52] Thinking of procrastination as an addiction cycle.
[0:10:23] How you can help your kid become more resilient.
[0:12:26] Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up if your kid is a procrastinator.
[0:14:13] Effective strategies for helping teenagers with procrastination habits.
[0:16:58] How to help kids develop strategies to combat procrastination.
[0:21:40] Why positive reinforcement is much more effective than criticism.
[0:22:59] Collaborating on creating an environment that prevents procrastination.
[0:26:08] How to address the conflict caused by procrastination.
[0:27:27] Time blindness, and tips on how to time block.
[0:30:39] The value of asking questions and being curious.
[0:34:05] How bad responses from teachers can discourage kids from asking questions.
[0:36:02] Self-regulation and how to use habit stacking.
[0:37:45] Normalizing procrastination and a reminder that changing your habits takes time!
Time Blocking Apps:
Forest 
Freedom
FocusMe
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram