Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

From Anxious Teen to Successful Adult: One of Our Former Students Shares Her Journey

When you grow up with social media, it can intensify some of the most overpowering feelings you experience during adolescence, especially when it comes to comparing yourself to others, or feeling like you’re constantly being watched. While our guest may not have grown up with Instagram, her High School years saw the introduction of Facebook which undoubtedly heightened feelings of anxiety and comparison. Today on the show we talk with the wonderful Zoë Björnson, whose life and career we’ve been following with great interest since we first met her as a teenager over a decade ago. Tuning in you’ll learn about Zoë’s experience of High School and adolescence, her natural sense of curiosity, and how having a growth mindset has shaped her life. In our conversation, Zoë discusses the periods of anxiety and depression she has experienced, why she was not as chill as she seemed in High School, and the advice that she would love to offer her younger, adolescent self, to guide her towards greater self-acceptance. You’ll also learn about the company Quilt, where Zoë currently works, a uniquely kind space on the internet, where you can be yourself (plus it’s audio-only, so you don’t have to worry about how you look all the time!). We had such an amazing time catching up with Zoë and loved hearing her thoughtful insights on transitioning from adolescence to young adulthood. We hope you’ll join us for this inspiring conversation with one of our favorite people, Zoë Björnson!  
 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:15] Introducing today’s awesome guest, Zoë Björnson.
[0:02:40] Discover Quilt, an audio-only space on the internet, where Zoë currently works.
[0:03:23] Zoë’s natural curiosity and her remote year in 2017.
[0:05:22] Zoë’s experience of Highschool and why she was not as cool and chill as she appeared.
[0:06:47] How Zoë has learned to embrace different parts of herself since High School.
[0:10:25] What Zoë would like to say to her younger self to help her with self-acceptance.
[0:11:04] Zoë shares the traumas experienced as a 16-year-old and how they shifted her identity journey.
[0:14:30] The role that Zoë’s parent’s played in her growth mindset.
[0:16:06] Why having outlets other than school or work is crucial to a healthy and happy life.
[0:19:16] How Zoë’s mom prioritized travel during her teenage years.
[0:20:46] Why exposure to uncomfortable situations facilitates growth for a lot of people.
[0:22:12] Zoë’s advice to parents who are trying to strike the balance between helping their kids achieve while also becoming resilient, well-rounded, adults.
[0:26:47] How Zoë feels about having gone to a prestigious prep school like Menlo.
[0:29:21] Zoë’s experience with depression and how she recovered.
[0:32:40] How social media has made our lives so much more about performing than connecting.
 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Zoë Björnson
Zoë Björnson on LinkedIn
Quilt
Why the Past Ten Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Test Optional

There have been a number of important changes to testing regulations for college admissions in the last few years, and it is vital that families know what is expected of applicants with regard to SAT and ACT scores. With the increase in the number of schools that no longer require test scores to be submitted, how valuable is it to test at all? In this episode, we delve into the particulars of this question, as we consider how to maximize your child's resources and avoid any potential penalization. The conversation also covers different strategies for preparing for tests, and some of the best practices for improving scores if you do decide to take the tests. We cover some differences between SATs and ACTs and even consider some of the tutoring services that are available for students for upping their numbers. So to get clear on all of these questions, and make sure your child's application is the strongest it can be, press play!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:03:05] Defining the terms 'test optional' and 'test free' as they relate to college applications.
[0:06:17] Common questions about tests and which ones to take.
[0:07:35] Weighing the possibility of being penalized for not submitting test scores.
[0:10:15] Choosing between SATs and ACTs, and making the most of time and energy.
[0:14:13] Balancing the value of testing and other worthwhile uses of a child's resources.
[0:16:46] When to start preparing for tests and carving out time in a busy schedule.
[0:20:03] Matching the preparation strategy and duration to the child's needs and strengths.
[0:23:48] How a regular reading habit can positively impact test scores.
[0:25:11] Different types of prep and finding something that best suits your child.
[0:30:45] Practical advice for setting aside time for practice tests.
[0:34:28] Diminishing returns after a certain amount of repeated tests.
[0:36:42] The dangers of guarantees from test tutors. 
[0:40:50] Schools that still require testing from their applicants.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What is the College Admissions Process Really Measuring

In today's conversation, we share some insights into what colleges are really looking for when assessing applications. While there are both quantitative and qualitative aspects to their measurements, we find that families who are applying can tend to overlook certain important areas that can make all the difference to the success of an application. We go into some detail about the vital ideas of maturity, self-awareness, and self-actualization, and how these can be demonstrated to an admissions board. A helpful idea to keep in mind is that colleges are effectively looking to admit young adults who have taken initiative in their lives and show a level of emotional maturity. Other aspects that we cover in the discussion include the consequences of the choices we make as parents, why letting our children fail is an important piece of the puzzle, the different kinds of support we can offer, and how to exercise our own forms of self-care while helping our children. So join us to catch it all, today!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:01:13] The prioritization of maturity in college admissions.
[0:05:29] Looking beyond the numbers and the transcript.
[0:09:40] The importance of children taking on more responsibility at home and care of themselves.
[0:12:58] The effects of parents who do too much for their kids.
[0:15:02] Issues of motivation and dependence, and creating and maintaining incentives.
[0:17:01] Providing proof of the initiative that a young adult has taken in their life.
[0:19:58] Accepting the inevitable mistakes that are made when facing challenges.
[0:24:17] Developing skills and resilience through facing and dealing with setbacks.
[0:26:22] Trusting that things will work themselves out!
[0:27:31] Balancing the kinds of thinking that are so common in teenagers.
[0:30:00] Final thoughts on what is really meaningful when applications are assessed.
 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
 
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Raising Body Positive Teens

What better way to kick off Season 2 AND National Body Acceptance Week than an episode on raising body-positive teens? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith sit down with Wendy Sterling to discuss how diet and nutrition are central to raising healthy teens. Wendy is a Certified Eating Disorder Registered Dietitian and Approved Supervisor through the International Eating Association of Eating Disorder Professionals, and Board Certified Specialist in Sports Dietetics in the Bay Area in California. This episode offers a wealth of information to listeners who are interested in learning more about disordered eating, body image, relationship with food, and nutritional needs during adolescence. 
TIMESTAMPS
[00:00] Intro
[00:59] Introducing special guest, Wendy Sterling
[03:19] Let’s talk about disordered eating
[08:00] How do you approach someone who you suspect may be struggling with disordered eating?
[12:31] Nutritional needs during adolescence
[19:00] Societal and cultural influences around body image
[22:10] The goal is to become awake and aware
[26:34] Supplements
[30:23] Nutrition for athletes
[34:19] Addressing concerns in terms of behavior
[37:54] Ending on a snacky note
[44:03] Outro
LINKS
Sterling Nutrition
The Plate-by-Plate Approach®
Wendy Sterling on IG
Books:
Raising Body Positive Teens: A Parent’s Guide to Diet-Free Living, Exercise and Body Image
How to Nourish Your Child Through an Eating Disorder: A Simple, Plate-by-Plate Approach to Reestablishing a Healthy Relationship with Food
No Weigh! A Teen’s Guide to Body Image, Food, and Emotional Wisdom
Herrera Educational Consulting
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You website

We’re Baaaaaack!

After some well-deserved R&R this summer, we’re back for our second season!
Congrats on making it through the madness that is the beginning of the school year. Now that you've got your pumpkin spice latte in hand, it's time to sit back and enjoy season two of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You where we drop more truth bombs, and answer your most pressing questions about the college admissions process and raising teenagers. 
Tune in to this episode to get a sneak peek at what’s headed your way!

A College Professor Shares His Best Practices For College Freshman

In the season finale episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith speak with special guest, Dr. Albert Herrera, professor of Biological Sciences at USC (and Meredith’s dad!). They break down the big differences between academic life during high school and what academic life looks like in college. Dr. Herrera also discusses the importance of time management in college, as well as other aspects of maturity that will help students navigate during their college years. 
 
TIMESTAMPS
[00:00] Intro
[01:22] Special guest, Dr. Albert Herrera
[05:35] Navigating the college academic environment
[11:00] Time management is key
[15:25] How to foster aspects of maturity in our children
[23:30] Common faux pas when interacting with college professors
[28:45] College syllabus (or syllabi)
[33:52] Help your children seek out experiences that make them think outside of themselves
[36:08] Should students do research as undergraduates?
[43:53] Sit in the front row
[46:40] Learn about the definitions/examples of academic dishonesty
[52:35] A heartwarming story
[55:20] Final pieces of advice from a college professor
[1:01:56] That’s a wrap for season 1
[1:05:04] Outro
 
LINKS
Herrera Educational Consulting
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You website
Sample College Syllabus

Meredith’s Bone to Pick

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk about the lack of transparency in the college admissions process. What is the ethical responsibility of colleges? How could colleges make the admissions process more student-centered? Cathy and Meredith tackle these questions and more on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. 
 
TIMESTAMPS
[00:00] Intro
[01:20] Making the college process more opaque
[05:33] Colleges should just own it
[06:32] College admissions is crazy
[08:29] Are admissions processes student-centered?
[12:00] How privilege plays a part
[17:14] What is the ethical responsibility of colleges?
[22:25] Why not give families information they need to make good decisions?
[27:15] Ultimately, it’s about young people
[38:24] Outro
 
LINKS
Herrera Educational Consulting
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You website

The Rumor Mill

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss how rumors and gossip around the college process are not only counterproductive, but potentially harmful. They stress the importance of having a healthy skepticism and questioning the accuracy and helpfulness of the information you’re sharing with your fellow parents.
 
TIMESTAMPS
[00:00] Intro
[01:44] Don't listen to your friends
[04:30] The rumor mill
[11:03] Why is gossip bad?
[16:30] Question the helpfulness of the information you’re sharing
[18:28] Comparison is the thief of joy
[20:39] Myth Busting
[23:51] Having difficult conversations
[30:50] Healthy skepticism
[35:17] Outro
 
LINKS
Herrera Educational Consulting
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You website

Positive Psychology

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk about positive psychology. What it is, how it can be used to promote well being in your life and the lives of your children. They also discuss the importance of community, attuning to your character strengths, figuring out what your values are and finding yourself in a state of flow. 
 
TIMESTAMPS
[00:00] Intro
[03:34] What is Positive Psychology?
[13:38] Things we can do to promote well being
[19:25] Looking for awe
[20:10] The importance of community
[27:26] Helping your child attune to their individual character strengths
[30:02] What are my values?
[31:23] Finding your flow
[40:18] Outro
 
LINKS
Herrera Educational Consulting
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You website
UPenn Positive Psychology Center
Flourish by Martin Seligman
Foundations of Positive Psychology on Coursera
Adam Grant Ted Talk on Languishing
Personal Values Tool
Character Strengths Survey

Let’s Talk About Sex, Babyyyy…

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk with Justine Fonte, intersectional health educator, who holds a Masters in Education and Public Health from Columbia University. They get into some real-talk about what parents may not know (or want to know) about adolescent sexual behavior, how to talk to your child about sex, and when to start having those conversations. 
 
TIMESTAMPS
[00:00] Intro
[01:02] Introducing special guest, Justine Fonte
[04:45] What you might not know (or want to)
[08:43] Normalize talking about sex with your child
[14:00] How to talk about pornography
[20:15] Will I encourage sexual behavior if I talk about it with my child?
[23:03] Don’t be afraid to be human
[27:03] The conversation didn’t go as planned
[30:48] Safety, Affirmation and Joy
[34:04] Healthy exploration vs. risky behavior
[40:41] In Conclusion
[43:15] Foodie recs from Justine
[47:00] Outro
 
LINKS
Herrera Educational Consulting
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You website
Justine Fonte
Justine’s IG
Your Friendly Ghostwriter