Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

The Most Common Mistakes Seniors Make on College Apps

Sometimes we have to learn by doing, but a college application certainly isn’t the time for that approach. That’s why today, we are sharing common mistakes we see seniors make on college applications all too often. We know our audience, and the mistakes they are susceptible to making. Press play to hear us highlight what we’ve noticed, what to do instead, and whose guidance to heed along the way. We touch on which schools to apply to, essay tips, and what to make of school rankings before unpacking some essential considerations that will help you to determine which institution is the best fit for your child, and much more today. Thanks for tuning in to another episode! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:25] Today’s topic: the biggest mistakes that we see seniors make on college applications over and over again. 
[0:02:28] The mistake many seniors make by following the advice of their peers. 
[0:05:59] Why it is a mistake to apply to too many top schools.
[0:10:15] Why a 17-year-old’s definition of a good application essay differs from ours.
[0:14:07] The mistake of never stopping to offer an explanation, and offering a list instead.
[0:18:02] Why it is a mistake to choose a school based only on name and rank.
[0:19:32] How rankings are calculated and why this is often unrelated to the undergraduate experience.
[0:20:42] Considerations that help to determine fit.
[0:21:29] Why, if you are taking your kids to see schools, you should include less selective colleges.
[0:26:41] The number one biggest mistake we have seen kids make in their applications.
[0:28:13] How early to begin completing your application process.  
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Our Top Tips For Parenting Teens

We know how difficult it can be to navigate your highly emotional, sometimes nasty, boundary-testing teenagers and today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are unpacking the enigma that is parenting teens. In this episode, you will hear our top tips for parenting teens, ranging from finding the balance between giving them independence and still being the parents they so desperately need, to how to handle alcohol and all things taboo. We delve into the dangers of trying to be your child’s friend, why teenagers need very strong boundaries, how to model behavior for them at all times, and why they need you to help them learn how to emotionally regulate. It is in the nature of teenagers to push boundaries and we discuss how being too permissive is problematic before asking you to fact-check your teens when something sounds strange. Finally, we want to remind you to shower your teens with love! To hear all this and more, tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:55] The topic of today’s episode: parenting teenagers.
[0:01:16] Why teenagers are just dumb adults and how things are changing for them.
[0:03:12] The importance of remembering that teenagers are still children and do need you. 
[0:04:55] Why you need to be involved in your teenager’s life without micromanaging. 
[0:06:06] A reminder that you cannot try to be your teenager’s friend.
[0:08:45] Why teenagers need just as many (if not more) boundaries than younger kids. 
[0:11:35] How being too permissive is more dangerous than being too strict.
[0:13:25] The importance of having open conversations with your teenagers. 
[0:16:04] How modeling respect can help them learn how to have healthy relationships. 
[0:16:55] Why you should not believe everything your teenager says. 
[0:19:00] The importance of helping your teenagers learn to emotionally regulate. 
[0:21:41] Why we must protect them from dangers when they experiment with risky behavior. 
[0:26:35] A reminder that supplying teenagers with alcohol is against the law. 
[0:29:51] Why talking about serious things makes them less taboo and demystifies them. 
[0:30:56] Why we want you to overwhelm teens with love, and physical and emotional affection. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Adolescent Development 101 Episode
Let’s Talk About Sex Babyyyy with Justine Fonte Episode 
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Are Some Extracurriculars “Better” Than Others?

Extracurricular activities are a huge component of healthy development for teens. In this episode, we discuss the vast benefits of extracurriculars and how to approach the topic with your kids. You’ll hear our thoughts on the demands of sports commitments and whether some extracurriculars are better than others. If you’re wondering what colleges are really looking for in terms of extracurriculars and community service, you’ve come to the right place. Tune in to find out everything you need to know about the role of extracurricular activities in your child’s life.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:45] Introducing today’s topic: all things extracurricular activities.
[0:02:26] How you should/shouldn’t approach picking extracurriculars.
[0:03:14] Why extracurricular activities are important.
[0:06:05] Our take on whether some extracurriculars are better than others.
[0:10:23] Why it’s important not to overload your child’s schedule.
[0:11:41] Our thoughts on the demands of sports commitments.
[0:16:16] Why we encourage diversity of exposure when it comes to extracurriculars.
[0:16:48] The benefits of kids getting jobs.
[0:17:16] What colleges are looking for regarding your extracurricular choices.
[0:20:36] How to encourage kids to commit to an extracurricular activity.
[0:23:58] The recommended approach if your kids are into video games.
[0:28:14] Whether or not colleges require candidates to do community service.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Does My Kid Need a Tutor? Answer That Question and More with Expert Tutor, Maya Varga

Have you thought of hiring a tutor to help your child at school? If you are a parent, this thought has likely crossed your mind. Most students can cope well in a typical classroom situation, but it does not work for everyone, and some students require a more one-on-one approach. Tutoring can help students build essential learning skills, boost confidence, and increase subject comprehension. To help us unpack the benefits of tutoring is the Senior Director at Hayutin Education, Maya Varga. Hayutin Education offers a wide range of professional, research-based, and one-on-one tutoring services to help children reach their full potential. Maya started as a tutor in the entertainment industry and started her own private practice before joining Hayutin Education in 2014. Maya has vast experience in college counseling, homeschool instruction, and executive function skill-building, and specializes in non-traditional education pathways. In this episode, Maya answers all our questions about tutoring. We learn how to assess a student’s inventory of skills, key indicators your child would benefit from tutoring support, tailoring the approach to each student, and the value of building learning capacity. We also discuss what aspects to consider when looking for a tutor, how to tell whether tutoring is working, the value of building momentum, why tutoring does not get results overnight, and the importance of a support network. We also uncover why tutoring is not the silver bullet parents think it is, the benefits of independent learning, why the physical and mental health of a student is vital, and much more! Tune in to discover the power of tutoring with education expert Maya Varga!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:45] Introduction and background about today’s guest, Maya Varga.
[0:03:34] How Maya helps parents determine if their child could benefit from a tutor.
[0:05:58] She unpacks what she means by good skills and routines.
[0:08:28] Maya shares advice for finding the right tutor for your child.
[0:10:56] What parents are committing to when they hire a tutor.
[0:12:07] The role of a tutor and why tutors are not “homework nannies”.
[0:13:22] What indicates that a student does not need further tutoring support.
[0:15:08] Ways to motivate students to complete homework and tasks.
[0:17:59] Discover what parents can do to help their child be successful.
[0:20:39] Her approach to parents who are skeptical of the tutoring process.
[0:25:18] Find out when homeschooling is appropriate for a child.
[0:28:55] Maya shares some best practices for students and parents.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
 
Maya Varga on LinkedIn
Hayutin Education 
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Early Decisions Just Came Out, What Now?

It’s nearing the time when students start to hear back from early decision (ED) and early action (EA) schools. In this timely episode, we’re covering the ins and outs of the ED/EA admissions process from the expected timeline for hearing back from schools to the appropriate actions for each potential outcome. We delve into the pros of early action schools and the cons of the third less common early admission option: restrictive/single choice early action. You’ll discover all the potential outcomes and what to do (and not to do) in the case of each outcome. If your child is a senior in the early decision/ early action process, you’ve come to the right place. Tune in for advice and action items you can put in place to keep calm in this stressful time.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:44] Today’s topic: hearing back from early decision (ED) and early action (EA) schools.
[0:01:40] The expected timeline for hearing back from schools.
[0:02:43] A breakdown of ED and EA admission options.
[0:04:16] A third less common early admission option: restrictive/single choice early action.
[0:05:06] The pros of early action schools.
[0:06:00] Examples of early application outcomes.
[0:08:29] How to prepare for a denied admission and what to do if denied.
[0:12:20] What application deferrals are and the various kinds to expect.
[0:14:23] An example of a courtesy deferral.
[0:15:42] Insight into enrollment management.
[0:17:06] Our take on the standard practice of writing a Letter of Continued Interest (LOCI) post-deferral.
[0:19:44] The role of the admission counselor at this time of year.
[0:21:12] Things to do once you have an outcome.
[0:24:21] The students’ and parents’ respective roles in the application and admissions process.
[0:27:54] Appropriate parent behavior when children are accepted or denied.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Work Effectively with Your School’s College Counselor

After visiting 700 college campuses, it’s safe to say that today’s guest, Diane Campbell, is an expert in this area! The college application and admission process is different to what it used to be, and this requires a mindset shift of the parents who have children in high school. In today’s episode, Diane shares advice on how to navigate college counseling during high school, why it’s never too late to visit a college counselor (yes, even if you’re a senior), her thoughts on IECs, and the dreaded “gap trap.” College applications can be complicated and confusing and as a parent, it’s your responsibility to guide your child while also offering them independence. Tune in today to hear it all from the Director of College Counseling at Liberty Common High School and the founder of Campbell College Consulting. 
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:01:29] Introducing today’s guest, Diane Campbell. 
[0:06:10] Advice for getting the most value out of your child’s school’s counseling department. 
[0:10:42] Differentiating between different types of counselors.
[0:11:25] Challenges of navigating the public school system. 
[0:13:20] Why it’s never too late to visit a college counselor.
[0:16:23] The importance of finding a healthy balance between guiding students and giving them their independence.
[0:20:00] Diane shares her thoughts on IECs.
[0:27:55] Parental attitudes that bother Diane.
[0:32:17] The mindset shift relating to college applications that is required.
[0:33:58] Exploring the concept of the “gap trap.”
[0:38:26] A few of Diane’s favorite hidden-gem colleges. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Campbell College Consulting
Diane Campbell on LinkedIn
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Want to cut college tuition in half? How about college in Ireland?

A college education is the foundation for success and is essential to start the life you want. However, the costs associated with acquiring quality qualifications exclude many from pursuing their ambitions. What if there was a more affordable solution? In today’s episode, we speak to Niamh Kavanagh about the benefits of studying in Ireland and why it should be a consideration for any student wanting to pursue a college degree. Niamh is an International Recruitment Officer and Regional Manager of North & South America at the University of Limerick. She has worked on various national and international marketing campaigns and managed projects in countries around the world, affording her the experience and skills needed to be a success as an international recruiter. In our conversation, we discuss the benefits of studying in Ireland and what students can expect from attending an Irish university. We learn about the main differences between Irish and American universities, the culture shock many international students experience, and the benefits of the compulsory work experience required by Irish universities. Niamh also provides insight into common character traits of potential students and details the support system Limerick University offers for international students. Join us to discover the benefits of studying in Ireland and how to make it happen with special guest, Niamh Kavanagh!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:00:45] Introduction to today’s guest: Niamh Kavanagh.
[0:04:11] Background about Niamh and her professional career.
[0:06:25] Hear what the benefits are of attending college in Ireland.
[0:09:11] A comparison of costs between going to college in America versus Ireland.
[0:09:38] Hear about the reputation and transferable skills of the Irish education system.
[0:10:19] Learn about the compulsory work experience of Irish Universities.
[0:11:40] We discuss the main differences between Irish and American colleges.
[0:14:19] The shock that many international students experience regarding grading.
[0:15:48] What students can benefit from outside of attending an international university.
[0:18:40] Outline of the character traits students need to study abroad.
[0:21:54] Why students must make sure the college and course are suitable for them.
[0:25:53] Niamh explains the support network offered to homesick students.
[0:32:18] She shares a recent experience she had with a student who needed help.
[0:35:16] How Niamh is able to relate to international students studying at Limerick University.
[0:37:48] Discover what traditional Irish dishes Niamh recommends people should try.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
 
Niamh Kavanagh on LinkedIn
University of Limerick
Want to Save Money on College? Here’s a (Somewhat) Radical Idea
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Is it better to get an A in ‘regular’ class or B in an AP Class?

Welcome to a brand new season of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! We’ve been thinking about how we can make the SYTWTY Podcast more relevant and valuable to parents, which is why, in season two, we’re taking a look at our FAQs. Today, we attempt to answer an age-old question that we commonly receive from parents and students alike: is it better to get an A in a ‘regular’ class or a B in an AP/Honors class? The TL;DR answer may seem obvious (objectively, AP classes are better), but there are a number of factors that you need to evaluate when it comes to course selection, the college admissions process, and how it can impact a student’s self-worth. Tune in today as we give this FAQ the nuanced consideration it deserves!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:01:35] An introduction to today’s FAQ: Is it better to get a B in AP or an A in regular?
[0:02:05] False premises that make this a difficult question to answer.
[0:04:00] Important considerations when it comes to college admissions.
[0:06:13] Course selection tips for students to make the most of their schedules.
[0:08:55] Uncomfortable realities in highly competitive environments.
[0:10:35] A follow-up FAQ from parents: how do I know if my kid can handle it?
[0:12:30] Advice for trialing a more rigorous schedule.
[0:13:44] Why personalized decisions need to be made for each student.
[0:16:38] When parents take the process too personally.
[0:21:25] Putting your child’s health and well-being first.
[0:21:50] Opportunities to discuss values and self-worth with your child.
[0:23:05] Why it’s important to celebrate diverse strengths.
[0:27:16] Benefits of choosing the most rigorous curriculum a student can handle.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
 
A College Professor Shares His Best Practices For College Freshman
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

From Anxious Teen to Successful Adult: One of Our Former Students Shares Her Journey

When you grow up with social media, it can intensify some of the most overpowering feelings you experience during adolescence, especially when it comes to comparing yourself to others, or feeling like you’re constantly being watched. While our guest may not have grown up with Instagram, her High School years saw the introduction of Facebook which undoubtedly heightened feelings of anxiety and comparison. Today on the show we talk with the wonderful Zoë Björnson, whose life and career we’ve been following with great interest since we first met her as a teenager over a decade ago. Tuning in you’ll learn about Zoë’s experience of High School and adolescence, her natural sense of curiosity, and how having a growth mindset has shaped her life. In our conversation, Zoë discusses the periods of anxiety and depression she has experienced, why she was not as chill as she seemed in High School, and the advice that she would love to offer her younger, adolescent self, to guide her towards greater self-acceptance. You’ll also learn about the company Quilt, where Zoë currently works, a uniquely kind space on the internet, where you can be yourself (plus it’s audio-only, so you don’t have to worry about how you look all the time!). We had such an amazing time catching up with Zoë and loved hearing her thoughtful insights on transitioning from adolescence to young adulthood. We hope you’ll join us for this inspiring conversation with one of our favorite people, Zoë Björnson!  
 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:15] Introducing today’s awesome guest, Zoë Björnson.
[0:02:40] Discover Quilt, an audio-only space on the internet, where Zoë currently works.
[0:03:23] Zoë’s natural curiosity and her remote year in 2017.
[0:05:22] Zoë’s experience of Highschool and why she was not as cool and chill as she appeared.
[0:06:47] How Zoë has learned to embrace different parts of herself since High School.
[0:10:25] What Zoë would like to say to her younger self to help her with self-acceptance.
[0:11:04] Zoë shares the traumas experienced as a 16-year-old and how they shifted her identity journey.
[0:14:30] The role that Zoë’s parent’s played in her growth mindset.
[0:16:06] Why having outlets other than school or work is crucial to a healthy and happy life.
[0:19:16] How Zoë’s mom prioritized travel during her teenage years.
[0:20:46] Why exposure to uncomfortable situations facilitates growth for a lot of people.
[0:22:12] Zoë’s advice to parents who are trying to strike the balance between helping their kids achieve while also becoming resilient, well-rounded, adults.
[0:26:47] How Zoë feels about having gone to a prestigious prep school like Menlo.
[0:29:21] Zoë’s experience with depression and how she recovered.
[0:32:40] How social media has made our lives so much more about performing than connecting.
 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Zoë Björnson
Zoë Björnson on LinkedIn
Quilt
Why the Past Ten Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Test Optional

There have been a number of important changes to testing regulations for college admissions in the last few years, and it is vital that families know what is expected of applicants with regard to SAT and ACT scores. With the increase in the number of schools that no longer require test scores to be submitted, how valuable is it to test at all? In this episode, we delve into the particulars of this question, as we consider how to maximize your child's resources and avoid any potential penalization. The conversation also covers different strategies for preparing for tests, and some of the best practices for improving scores if you do decide to take the tests. We cover some differences between SATs and ACTs and even consider some of the tutoring services that are available for students for upping their numbers. So to get clear on all of these questions, and make sure your child's application is the strongest it can be, press play!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:03:05] Defining the terms 'test optional' and 'test free' as they relate to college applications.
[0:06:17] Common questions about tests and which ones to take.
[0:07:35] Weighing the possibility of being penalized for not submitting test scores.
[0:10:15] Choosing between SATs and ACTs, and making the most of time and energy.
[0:14:13] Balancing the value of testing and other worthwhile uses of a child's resources.
[0:16:46] When to start preparing for tests and carving out time in a busy schedule.
[0:20:03] Matching the preparation strategy and duration to the child's needs and strengths.
[0:23:48] How a regular reading habit can positively impact test scores.
[0:25:11] Different types of prep and finding something that best suits your child.
[0:30:45] Practical advice for setting aside time for practice tests.
[0:34:28] Diminishing returns after a certain amount of repeated tests.
[0:36:42] The dangers of guarantees from test tutors. 
[0:40:50] Schools that still require testing from their applicants.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram