Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Think You Have a ‘Lazy’ Kid? Here’s What’s Really Happening

Ever found yourself putting things off for later, even when you know you shouldn't? Yup, that's procrastination. In today's episode, we break down why all of us, including teenagers, tend to postpone certain tasks, and what can be done to address this. Many people, parents included, often think of procrastination as nothing more than a delay tactic or that it’s simply the result of being lazy or forgetful. But procrastination is far more complex than that. It can be a coping mechanism to help you deal with difficult emotions or avoid the pressure of perfectionism. It can even signal something more serious, like depression or anxiety. But there is hope! Join us today as we lay out actionable strategies; from understanding the heart of procrastination to embracing mindfulness, time-blocking, and crafting procrastination-resistant environments. Remember, change isn't always a straight path, but with commitment and the right tools, you can guide your teen toward a more productive, delay-free life!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:20] What procrastination is and why we do it.
[0:04:20] The most common things teens procrastinate about.
[0:06:06] Why procrastination can often be a warning sign of something else.
[0:07:11] Chronic procrastination and its side effects.
[0:07:49] How perfectionism can lead to procrastination.
[0:08:52] Thinking of procrastination as an addiction cycle.
[0:10:23] How you can help your kid become more resilient.
[0:12:26] Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up if your kid is a procrastinator.
[0:14:13] Effective strategies for helping teenagers with procrastination habits.
[0:16:58] How to help kids develop strategies to combat procrastination.
[0:21:40] Why positive reinforcement is much more effective than criticism.
[0:22:59] Collaborating on creating an environment that prevents procrastination.
[0:26:08] How to address the conflict caused by procrastination.
[0:27:27] Time blindness, and tips on how to time block.
[0:30:39] The value of asking questions and being curious.
[0:34:05] How bad responses from teachers can discourage kids from asking questions.
[0:36:02] Self-regulation and how to use habit stacking.
[0:37:45] Normalizing procrastination and a reminder that changing your habits takes time!
Time Blocking Apps:
Forest 
Freedom
FocusMe
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

College Admissions Insider Interview with Gary Clark, Associate Vice Chancellor of Enrollment Management at UCLA

Have you ever had a neighbor drop 'inside info' on UC admissions and you weren't quite sure if it held water? Well, today's episode is your ultimate UC admissions reality check – don't miss it! This week's guest is Gary Clark, the Associate Vice Chancellor of Enrollment Management at UCLA. With his extensive experience, Gary provides valuable insights into admissions and enrollment at UCLA, as well as the broader college application process. In this episode, Gary discusses hot topics like Affirmative Action, dispels common myths about UC admissions, touches on the selection process likened to a lottery system, and shares insights into UCLA's transfer process. If attending UCLA is your dream, you'll want to hear why transferring is a viable option. This episode offers a wealth of information on all things related to the UC admissions process, so don't miss out!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] An introduction to our guest today: Gary Clark.
[0:02:25] We discuss a current hot topic in the admissions world: Affirmative Action.
[0:06:45] His “prediction” of what will happen with admissions this year.
[0:09:00] Busting myths about the UC admissions process.
[0:12:38] His advice to parents and students considering applying to UC.
[0:13:15] Our guest’s response to the selection process being compared to a lottery system.
[0:15:10] How the demand far exceeds the capacity at highly competitive institutions.
[0:16:00] Gary discusses UCLA's transfer process (especially through community college).
[0:18:30] Why community college can potentially be a better pathway for many students.
[0:19:45] Reasons why transferring to UCLA is a definite option!
[0:20:30] He talks about the importance of considering context when reviewing applications.
[0:22:45] Busted myth: admitting a certain number of students from certain high schools.
[0:23:00] The four targets they do have.
[0:24:23] Exploring the UC info center.
[0:24:55] He explains the UC approach to out-of-state and international student admissions.
[0:26:50] Examining the upward trend and increase in applications when UC went test-free.
[0:28:00] The reason behind why UC went test-free and the effect it had on applications.
[0:29:40] He explains what test-free really means.
[0:31:00] Details regarding the application for UC.
[0:32:00] A caution to students who turn their voices and applications to AI (or anyone outside of you).
[0:34:10] How having an almost college-ready kid has impacted his approach to the college process.
[0:36:30] His best advice to parents and kids getting ready for the college application process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Gary Clark on LinkedIn
Gary Clark
University of California Information Center
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The Secret to Writing a Great Personal Statement

Navigating the intricacies of crafting the perfect personal statement as a high school senior involves the art of skillfully constructing a narrative that authentically reflects one's individuality, maturity, and readiness for the next educational level. Although it’s much easier said than done! Join us as we delve deeper into the world of personal statement essays! In this episode, Cathy and Meredith explore key strategies for unlocking the secrets to crafting an outstanding personal statement including the challenges it presents, its underlying purpose, setting strong goals, and the significance of understanding what defines you as a student. They discuss some of the most commonly made mistakes, offer pragmatic tips, and debunk the myth about reaching a grand conclusion. They also explore common mistakes well-intentioned parents often make and the no-nos of advice from “people who really don’t know what they are talking about!” For all this and more, start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:53] The topic for this week’s episode: the personal statement.
[0:02:00] What makes the personal statement so challenging.
[0:02:30] We talk about the purpose of the essay.
[0:05:00] The time an admissions counselor spends reading the essay.
[0:06:20] Compelling information and red flag scans (and what not to include!)
[0:08:08] An impactful essay and why some kids can’t get there.
[0:09:03] One big takeaway we want listeners to walk away with.
[0:09:48] General, but strong, goals to set for your child when writing their essay.
[0:10:45] What Cathy tells students who pick ‘cliché’ topics.
[0:11:47] Traveling and service essays and what makes Meredith cringe.
[0:12:30] What makes you fundamentally you and why that’s a great place to start.
[0:13:35] What we are not saying.
[0:14:42] College admissions officers are looking for maturity and readiness.
[0:16:00] The admission process is highly subjective, don’t forget it!
[0:16:52] Pragmatic things a great essay needs to have.
[0:17:20] Side thoughts on a ‘grabby’ opening to the essay.
[0:17:50] What we mean by a ‘grabby’ opening.
[0:18:07] We talk about grammar, structure, and readability.
[0:19:40] The myth of reaching a grand conclusion.
[0:20:15] Knowing your audience; who is the admissions officer at the target school?
[0:21:10] We talk further about common mistakes students make.
[0:23:00] Taboo topics when it comes to the essay.
[0:27:03] Common mistakes well-intentioned parents make when it comes to the essay.
[0:29:45] A quick tangent on the non-meritocracy of highly selective private colleges.
[0:30:10] Advice from people who don’t know what they are doing.
[0:31:58] We discuss the importance of drafting and editing.
[0:34:00] When to ‘let it go’.
[0:34:35] If you have a question, please let us know!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Johns Hopkins Essays That Worked
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

College Admissions Insider Interview with Tim Brunold, Dean of Admissions USC

It’s often said that getting into college is simply the luck of the draw, totally random, and unpredictable. But today’s guest firmly believes it’s anything but that. He sees it as both an art and a science, a meticulous process that demands care, thought, and effort. We’re back for a very special episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! We’re thrilled to have an amazing admissions professional and an even more amazing friend, Tim Brunold! He is currently the Dean of Admission at USC and an enrollment specialist, here today to share his wisdom and insights into the world of college admissions from both perspectives – an admissions professional and parent of a college-ready kid. Join the conversation to hear more from Tim as he explains enrollment management and the science of it. He talks about numbers, volume, and the sense of the scale of applications, and why there’s no such thing as a universally acceptable college student! He highlights the goal of most colleges to create a well-rounded class versus well-rounded individuals, and elaborates on why families should have confidence in admissions offices. We deep dive into a discussion about character and the role it plays in the process, how they navigate the issue of character measuring, and the clues they look for. Be sure not to miss out on all this, and so much more! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:53] An exciting introduction to our very special guest: Tim Brunold.
[0:01:30] More about his career journey as an admissions professional.
[0:03:15] Why we are so excited to have Tim on the show today.
[0:05:00] How big the admissions office is at USC.
[0:06:00] He highlights how things have changed in the admissions sphere.
[0:07:10] Tim explains enrollment management and the science of it.
[0:09:30] He talks about numbers, volume, and the sense of the scale of applications.
[0:13:15] Considering sample sizes.
[0:14:10] Why there’s no such thing as a universally acceptable student.
[0:14:45] Getting in by merit, but what do you mean by merit?
[0:15:55] College goals of creating well-rounded classes versus individual students.
[0:17:00] Understanding where students are coming from; doing admissions work correctly.
[0:19:10] He elaborates on why families should have confidence in admissions officers.
[0:22:06] Selecting a student is both an art and a science, and to a degree, selective.
[0:24:25] We talk about the role of character in the admissions process.
[0:26:48] Navigating the issue of measuring student character, and the clues they look for.
[0:29:20] A recent positive trend Tim has seen in the admissions world.
[0:32:04] He highlights a trend that he is less excited about.
[0:35:11] A look at the marketing college-ready students/families receive.
[0:36:40] Colleges are both a place of higher learning and business.
[0:37:40] Tim shares a parent takeaway and advice (wearing his parent hat!)
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Tim Brunold on LinkedIn
Tim Brunold
University of California
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Roadmap to College

Our biggest advice for kids approaching college is simple: You’re going to be fine! This episode talks about the process of preparing for college. We’ve found that it’s predictable and routine and you can know it all in advance! Tune in today to hear our thoughts on the college preparation experience starting with Ninth Grade. We discuss the major shifts that often happen during Tenth Grade and what to bear in mind as a parent before exploring the test preparation process in Sophomore Year. It can be hard to determine what colleges care about and we aim to enlighten listeners on some of the process and how best to support your kids with decision-making along the way. Senior Year is the time to prioritize applications and this episode covers how to approach the lead-up to this pivotal year and how a counselor can support kids every step of the way. Rest assured, there are plenty of bases you can cover if you stay informed and get organized. Tune in today to hear some essential tips on how to do exactly that. 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] The origins of today’s topic: concerns raised coach-match meetings.
[0:02:45] Where the process begins in Ninth Grade with selecting an appropriately challenging curriculum.
[0:10:43] What to prioritize in the summer of Ninth Grade. 
[0:12:45] Shifts that occur in Tenth Grade and what to bear in mind as a parent.
[0:16:16] Preparing for tests in Sophomore Year.
[0:22:59] Determining what colleges care about. 
[0:24:48] Offering kids the freedom of unconditional support.
[0:26:07] Why it is important to start Senior Year ready to go.
[0:27:08] The importance of honing in on academic interests as a senior. 
[0:28:56] Why research is such a critical part of the application process.
[0:32:25] Prioritizing applications in Senior Year. 
[0:36:30] The work that counselors do to support kids during the application process.
[0:38:59] A reminder to focus on the things you can control.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Am I Making Too Many Decisions For My Teen?

Giving teenagers the power to make decisions about their own lives can be terrifying, but it is an essential part of growing up. In today’s episode, we are talking all about agency and how we can empower our children to learn how to make reflective, good choices. Tuning in, you’ll hear about why this is so important, how to guide our teens in decisions about their academic journeys, the dangers of forcing them into things, how to help them recover from a series of bad choices, when they shouldn’t be in charge, and so much more. We even delve into how our actions of love may actually be inhibiting our children’s growth before discussing the big impacts of agency in our kids’ lives. So to hear all this and be inspired to raise more thoughtful people, press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Today’s topic: decision-making and agency. 
[0:01:55] Why we need to allow our teenagers to make some decisions themselves.
[0:03:22] The importance of letting teens have agency over their academic journeys and how we can guide them.
[0:09:26] The benefits of allowing the student to make certain decisions and the dangers of forcing them into things. 
[0:13:42] How to help your children reflect when they make the wrong decision over and over. 
[0:16:59] When teenagers shouldn’t be able to make decisions.
[0:19:44] Cathy tells us about two students: one who was forced into a decision and one who made the same decision by himself and the effects of each case.
[0:25:10] The importance of exposing your children to different things and family modeling. 
[0:28:54] Why you have to ask yourself if you need to answer certain questions or do certain things for your children or not. 
[0:31:20] The importance of teaching your children to be responsible for their own space. 
[0:32:45] The bigger, long-term impacts of teaching your children agency and decision-making skills. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What the End of Affirmative Action Means for Everyone

As we see a lot of things shifting in the world of college admissions, one of the things expected this year was that the Supreme Court would strike down Affirmative Action. We felt this would be an important topic on the podcast and wanted to open up the conversation and share our thoughts and beliefs regarding the decision. Join us as we talk about the definition of Affirmative Action in this context and the current narrative regarding race and elite colleges. We also take a closer look at the recently published study, ‘Diversifying Society’s Leaders? The Determinants and Causal Effects of Admission to Highly Selective Private Colleges.’ With this episode, we want to inspire parents and students to think deeper when it comes to college admissions, emphasize the importance of reaching beyond just getting into college, and encourage them to focus more on diversification. Tune in now, for all this, and more. 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Why this is an important episode.
[0:02:00] What we are talking about today.
[0:02:30] The consequences of striking down Affirmative Action.
[0:03:49] Our belief regarding the decision rendered by the Supreme Court.
[0:04:08] The definition of Affirmative Action in this context.
[0:04:58] Racism is real in our country.
[0:07:22] We recount the current narrative out there (regarding race and elite colleges).
[0:08:00] We take a look at a study done on admissions to highly selective private colleges.
[0:09:59] The reason we are sharing this information on the podcast.
[0:12:35] A look at the legacy admissions factor.
[0:14:36] Comparing admission factors of elite public colleges and flagship public colleges.
[0:16:15] What will change this year.
[0:18:43] Thoughts on the future of the legacy factor.
[0:19:25] The non-academic “hooks” and their admission advantages and outcomes.
[0:22:30] Statistics regarding the outcomes of middle-class, non “hook” admissions.
[0:23:25] The takeaway we want our audience to leave with after today’s conversation.
[0:26:00] Thoughts on using athletics as a slipway into college.
[0:28:15] Why we want to inspire deeper thinking regarding college admissions.
[0:29:00] Cathy shares why she doesn’t believe in coaching a child purely based on strategy.
[0:31:30] Reaching beyond getting into college (with your kids).
[0:32:32] What is good for kids: diversity.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
‘Diversifying Society’s Leaders? The Determinants and Causal Effects of Admission to Highly Selective Private Colleges’
The Village Blog
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Starting the School Year Strong

Welcome to Season 3 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Today, we want to talk about starting the school year strong. What can you as parents do to help set your kids on a trajectory to success? We dive into some of the things we think are important for students to conquer, including setting schedules, getting organized, educating themselves on and making use of their school’s resources, and becoming skilled at advocating for themselves. We also discuss effective study strategies that can help students navigate the transition in learning and study habits from middle school to high school, as well as the value of learning from natural consequences, cultivating a sense of independence, and why we think it’s important to talk to your children about school policies. If you want to hear more about these topics and why it’s crucial for your children to be engaged in their school communities, don’t miss this information-packed episode!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:22] The topic for today’s episode: Starting the School Year Strong.
[0:01:45] Things to consider to help your kids get a great start.
[0:01:55] Everything you need to know about schedules.
[0:03:10] Helping your kids get organized for the school year ahead.
[0:04:30] Setting expectations and exploring options for organizational systems.
[0:06:30] Learning about and making use of your school’s resources.
[0:07:52] The importance of teaching students to advocate for themselves.
[0:08:20] Why parents should guide their kids through some type of reflective exercise.
[0:09:30] Exploring study and learning habits (and why some just don’t work).
[0:11:45] Taking the start of the new year as a time to reflect.
[0:13:00] Cultivating independence and learning from natural consequences.
[0:15:20] The benefits of learning from natural consequences.
[0:15:44] Device policies and the inability to appropriately navigate screen time.
[0:18:00] Cracking down on devices and sleep!
[0:19:15] Participation in diverse ways; becoming comfortable with taking academic risks.
[0:21:20] Breaking through introversion.
[0:22:50] Talking to your child about engagement with their school community.
[0:25:22] The other side: being over-scheduled.
[0:28:20] Why it’s important to talk about school policies with your children.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
'How to Help Your Teen Succeed This School Year'
Google Calendar
The Village Blog
Village Blog
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Season 3 Trailer

Welcome back to Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, the season 3 teaser episode! This season is going to be amazing, as we continue to bring you educational, yet entertaining, content. If you’ve got topics you’d like to hear more about, get in contact with us so that we can bring you what you want to hear! Buckle down and get ready for another great season! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:00] Intro to Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Season 3 Teaser.
[0:01:00] Season 3 and why it’s going to be dope!
[0:01:30] What to expect in season 3.
[0:01:50] Who we’ve scheduled for this season so far.
[0:03:09] Share our podcast so that we can keep growing our audience!
[0:03:46] A request for the audience to let us know what topics to address.
[0:04:11] We welcome feedback, so get in contact!
 
Quotes:
 
“Season three is going to be dope!” — Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You [0:01:02]
 
“This season we are super excited because we are bringing on some of our fancy pants admissions office friends.” — Cathy Chen [0:01:26]
 
“Let us know what you want to learn more about! If there’s some topic we haven’t covered in our three seasons that you are super curious about — odds are we can talk about or know someone who can talk about it!” — Meredith Herrera [0:03:46]
 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Brene Brown
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What’s the Purpose of Summer?

Welcome to the last episode of season two! Our topic for this week’s episode focuses on how to cultivate and promote your child’s wellness during the summer. And perhaps, while you are at it, how to cultivate your own wellness as a parent, too! We are excited to share some practical realities that can help drive decision-making for the summertime. We kick off with thoughts on the role of summer, the ideal ways to spend it, and a quick what not to do. We further dive into subtopics like the importance of balance, how family values play a role in choosing summertime activities, and why Cathy thinks getting your teenagers outside is imperative! We again touch on why getting kids out of their comfort zone and doing hard things is vital to their sense of self and their future and why a summer job is absolutely not lame. Tune in to hear why we think exposing your kids to differences and the reality of the real world can help set them up for success throughout their lives. Enjoy this last episode; we are excited to be back with more great topics for season three!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:30] We introduce this week’s topic: cultivating wellness.
[0:01:57] Meredith shares her thoughts on the role of summer.
[0:02:30] The ideal way to spend summer; play.
[0:03:30] A quick what not to do: Cathy calls BS.
[0:04:44] We make the distinction between the 8th and 12th graders.
[0:05:20] The importance of balancing out the scale.
[0:05:43] What Meredith would do as a parent of a teenager going into summer.
[0:06:25] How family values play a role in planning for summer.
[0:07:30] Choosing activities for summer and what to take into consideration.
[0:08:40] Why Cathy loves it when kids go to outdoor camps during summer.
[0:11:20] Experiencing awe and its impact on mental health.
[0:12:30] Take your teenagers to a garden (and get them gardening).
[0:13:00] Summer should be restorative; our brains need to rest.
[0:15:15] Animals and learning to care for something; learning about a sense of self.
[0:16:45] Cathy’s advice to parents wondering what their kids should do for the summer.
[0:18:00] Thoughts on adolescents being wired to be self-centered.
[0:19:15] Meaningful memories and what they often end up being for teenagers.
[0:21:00] The importance of doing hard things.
[0:22:05] What to tell the kids (and their parents) who just aren’t motivated.
[0:25:23] Pulling the parent card.
[0:26:53] Why your kids need to be part of a collective.
[0:27:35] A quick aside about allowance.
[0:29:00] Why getting a summer job is not lame!
[0:30:48] Exposing your kids to differences and the reality of the real world.
[0:34:30] Celebrating different communities and experiences.
[0:35:45] Experiencing joy by pushing through discomfort (and potentially yucky stuff).
[0:39:00] Get your kids dirty and teach them to fix things.
[0:40:45] Have unstructured but connected fun as a family!
[0:43:20] Our hope for you and your family this summer.
[0:43:45] A Thanks from us to you!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS)
REI
Outward Bound
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram