Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

When to Step In and When to Step Back: A Parent's Guide to School Drama Without the Mama Bear Meltdown

When we come in hot, fully activated to defend and advocate for our children, we may end up causing more harm than good. Sometimes, as parents, it’s essential to check our tone, take a breath, and approach situations with curiosity. Think of it as a partnership. Join Cathy and Meredith on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as they dive into a discussion about when it is and isn’t, appropriate for parents to step in and how to handle school drama without the 'Mama (or Papa) Bear Meltdown!' They explore different examples, discussing how a parent’s tone can completely change the entire experience and why, when necessary, you shouldn’t be deterred by red tape when advocating for your child’s needs. They also highlight key aspects of a well-received intervention, what to consider when making requests, and why it’s crucial to think about what you say, how you say it, and to whom you’re saying it. Be sure to tune in for all this and much more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] A timely discussion as the school year kicks off.
[0:02:30] Subscribe and share our podcast!
[0:03:20] When is it, and isn’t, appropriate for parents to step in at school.
[0:04:45] Some situations where parents shouldn’t be playing any role.
[0:07:00] An example of when it could be appropriate for parents to step in.
[0:08:35] The importance of your tone when stepping in.
[0:09:15] We look at other examples of when stepping in would be appropriate.
[0:13:10] Don’t be deterred by red tape when advocacy for your child is needed.
[0:15:30] Any time you are concerned about your child’s safety.
[0:15:45] What gets parents in trouble when reaching out to schools.
[0:16:30] We delve into the best approach for stepping in.
[0:19:45] An important aspect to remember when reaching out with requests.
[0:22:00] Try to approach things with curiosity, and not as an activated parent-warrior.
[0:25:40] How the college process can also bring forth bad parenting intervention.
[0:28:50] Providing critical information and context about your child’s health.
[0:33:55] We share the only time when parents reach out is bothersome.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episodes
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

A Sh**ty Life Update From Cathy

Today’s episode is about perseverance, resilience, and letting go of the things we can’t control. Earlier this year, Cathy received news that the lump she found on her body was indeed malignant, but the most important thing is everything she did after receiving the news. In today’s conversation, we learn about Cathy’s diagnosis and how she processed this revelation before exploring how Meredith came to terms with the news. We discover why and how Cathy’s plight fits perfectly with the themes of this podcast, how she’s maintained an optimistic outlook throughout her journey, how you can build a similar mindset of positivity, the keys to harnessing resilience, and the value of community in helping you overcome life’s struggles. To end, we unpack the dangers of toxic positivity, and Cathy shares her final words of gratitude – yes, you heard right, gratitude!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:55] Cathy lets us in on her recent cancer diagnosis.
[0:03:33] Meredith’s first experience of seeing Cathy receive treatment.
[0:05:38] Why Cathy’s struggle complements the themes of this podcast.
[0:07:13] How she’s managed to maintain a positive mindset since discovery.
[0:12:26] The best practices for cultivating and maintaining optimism.
[0:18:31] Why Cathy continued to work even while in treatment – building resilience.
[0:21:43] A reminder of the undeniable power of community in navigating life’s storms.
[0:26:00] How to manage your worrying habits, and a side note on toxic positivity.
[0:30:17] Cathy’s final words of gratitude – yes, gratitude. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Write a Kick-Ass Supplemental Essay That Will Make Admissions Say 'Wow!'

It’s mid-August, and college application deadlines are fast approaching. So, get ready for more 'college stuff' as we dive into how to write kick-ass supplemental essays that will make you stand out to admissions! In today’s world, most schools require at least two to three different supplements with their application, and highly selective schools often ask for even more. Join Cathy and Meredith as they share their insights on all things college supplements, including why colleges ask for them and why you need to take them seriously. They’ll explore different themes and templates, discuss how supplements can reveal what a college truly values, and guide listeners through a few key essay questions. Be sure to tune in for all this and more! And remember, make sure your kids don’t phone it in because admissions officers can tell!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] College applications are due any minute, have you turned on the Common App?
[0:01:30] What today’s episode is all about.
[0:02:15] Our views on supplements: the feelings and thoughts behind them.
[0:07:28] Using supplements to discourage applications. 
[0:08:00] Why colleges are asking for supplements and why they have to be taken seriously.
[0:09:25] Why you need to have a nice, small, tight list of potential colleges.
[0:10:35] A quick look at the book Lifting the Veil of Enrollment Management.
[0:11:44] The themes often seen in the template of college supplement requests.
[0:13:28] How supplements can reveal what a college cares about (do your research!)
[0:15:25] Biggest mistakes we’ve seen in the college essay-prompt format.
[0:16:30] The importance of belonging to a community.
[0:19:00] We talk about a certain trend and “haze of skepticism” around adolescents that doesn’t seem to play well in a community.
[0:21:40] An asterisk for those who don’t know what they want to major in.
[0:23:00] Identity and the challenges with this essay.
[0:26:30] Love yourself for who you are and show up as your authentic self.
[0:27:30] The hard parts of the social issue essay.
[0:28:30] A great place for parents to model and open up conversations.
[0:31:20] Why Meredith doesn’t necessarily like the social question.
[0:32:20] The adolescents of today versus those in the past.
[0:34:00] The roommate letter.
[0:35:15] The boom in popularity for the one-liners.
[0:38:00] What not to do in the favorite quote section.
[0:39:11] The net takeaways from our thoughts on college supplements.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Common App
Lifting the Veil on Enrollment Management: How a Powerful Industry is Limiting Social Mobility in American Higher Education
The Daily Pnut
Dear Kitten
Village Coaches Free Webinars
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Prepare Your Middle Schooler for High School

As children grow and transition from middle school to high school, their world inevitably becomes bigger and more complex. And rightly so! Welcome back to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. Today, we're turning our attention to the ‘littles’, our middle schoolers! Join us as we explore how to best prepare your middle schooler for the journey to high school. We dive into how to best prepare your middle schooler for the journey to high school by exploring two of the biggest transitions: academic and social. We also discuss some of the most common issues freshmen struggle with, the evolving role of parents, and how boundaries begin to shift, along with why it's crucial to create a safe space for your kids to have those confusing conversations with you. Don’t miss out as we cover all this and much more about getting your littles ready for high school. Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] What listeners can expect from today’s episode.
[0:01:30] Common topics in the transition from middle school to high school.
[0:03:00] The most noticeable differences to expect from middle school to high school.
[0:06:00] How the social dynamic also changes.
[0:07:45] The culture shift for students who change schools (to a new high school).
[0:08:30] We discuss some of the things freshmen often struggle with.
[0:09:30] The lack of high school coaching on how students should learn.
[0:10:45] Why students need to build and adjust good study habits.
[0:11:30] How students can become proficient in advocating for themselves.
[0:12:45] The parent role and how they can help their kids with these transitions.
[0:15:00] The importance of teaching kids how to reflect.
[0:16:16] Normalizing asking for help.
[0:16:40] The freshmen social concern.
[0:20:20] We talk about the shift in grades freshmen often encounter.
[0:21:40] How the boundaries of what is appropriate for a parent start to shift.
[0:25:55] Going over the school’s handbook with your child and other school policies.
[0:27:10] Attending the parent orientation sessions.
[0:27:50] Getting familiar with the content in content your children will be exposed to.
[0:30:55] Let’s talk about parties! (And what exactly the word “party” means)
[0:31:50] Boundaries, parents. Adjust them to be appropriate for your high schoolers.
[0:32:40] Setting up the stage for your kid to feel safe to have confusing conversations with you.
[0:34:15] We look at screen time and how that changes as kids enter high school.
[0:36:30] Keeping the long-term goal (college) in your focus.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We're Baaaaack!

Welcome to Season 4 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Join Cathy and Meredith as they dive into the real conversations and hidden truths of teenage life, bringing you more fresh insights and practical advice to help you navigate the teen years with confidence and understanding. Are you ready for candid discussions, expert tips, and plenty of laughs? Stay tuned for a season packed with stories and strategies (and maybe even some songs) to make parenting your teenager a little bit easier and a whole lot more rewarding!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:45] Welcome to Season 4 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You!
[0:02:10] What to expect from our upcoming episodes.
[0:03:08] Your invitation to subscribe and leave us a positive review.
[0:04:36] Insight into our recent goal-setting getaway.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Conquering Senioritis: How to Overcome and Defeat High School Burnout

As the end of senior year approaches, a widespread affliction known as senioritis begins to affect many American high school students. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we explore how to recognize telltale symptoms of the “itis,” address some of its more serious consequences, and offer practical advice for encouraging seniors to make wise choices, even as their motivation wanes. We also share strategies for striking the right balance between letting teens enjoy all the fun and excitement of senior year while emphasizing the importance of a strong academic finish. Tune in today for your comprehensive guide to conquering senioritis, overcoming high school burnout, and ensuring your teen’s success!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:04:03] Trademark indications that your kid has come down with senioritis.
[0:07:41] Consequences of senioritis, from summer school to losing scholarships.
[0:12:32] Why it’s important to discuss these consequences with seniors.
[0:15:41] Advice for parents to help their kids make better choices.
[0:19:01] Reasons that absences and tardiness should not be tolerated.
[0:21:20] Opportunities to remind seniors of their place in community.
[0:22:41] How much assertiveness and guidance is required from parents.
[0:28:06] Why this is a special time to bond before your kids go to college.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Exploring the Potential of Gap Years

It’s May, so our seniors are heading off to college! And as the sun sets on high school, fatigue, burnout, or even simple wanderlust may lead many to explore the option of a gap year. Welcome back to Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as today, we explore the highs and lows of taking a year’s break between high school and college. After explaining why we chose today’s topic, we learn about the reasons for wanting to pursue a gap year, the first steps toward taking a gap year, the dangers of taking leave to improve your academic record, and our guidelines and best practices to carry you forward during your year off. We also dive deeper into exploring the value of a gap year, gap year pre-package programs, the power of intention, and how a gap year can also be a way for you to take the time to focus on your mental health.    
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:49] Why we’ve chosen to speak about gap years. 
[0:01:53] Everything you need to know for your first steps toward taking a gap year.
[0:06:13] The reasons that kids and their families push for gap years.
[0:08:18] Assessing the dangers of a gap year to improve your academic record.
[0:10:23] Gap year options, guidelines, and best practices.
[0:12:55] Understanding the value gap year, and why it can always be seen as a gift. 
[0:14:06] Gap year pre-package programs. 
[0:15:26] How to overcome the fear of falling behind.
[0:17:32] The disadvantages of taking a gap year; why intention matters.
[0:20:45] Gap year programs for mental health. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Our Most Frequently Asked Questions: Applying to College

One of the questions we hear several times a week is about applying to college. We kick off our conversation by weighing in on whether or not you should tell your high school college counselor that you are also consulting with an IEC, or private college counselor. We touch on what you should and shouldn’t disclose in your application, how many times you should take the SATs, and the role of AP scores in building your profile. Join us as we chat about all things waitlists, letters of continued interest, recommenders, and more. Lastly, we unpack whether or not it is worthwhile to add in portfolio work or any other documents that you think may strengthen your case. Tune in today to hear all this and more! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:47] What this episode is dedicated to: FAQs related to the college application process. 
[0:02:11] Should you tell your high school college counselor that you are working with an IEC or private college counselor?
[0:05:09] Whether or not you should disclose a learning difficulty or mental health challenge. 
[0:10:24] A different perspective on the influence of disclosure on your college application.
[0:12:00] The number of times necessary to take the SAT.
[0:15:14] Answering whether or not you should include AP scores.
[0:16:35] How to get off of a waitlist and whether or not it’s worth it to send a letter of continued interest.
[0:20:03] How to choose a recommender and ask for their letter.
[0:24:23] The appropriate number of letters of recommendation to include in your application.
[0:28:52] Considering whether or not it is worthwhile to include a portfolio of work unrelated to the field of study.  
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Is My Teen Addicted to Video Games?

Are your kids spending more time glued to screens than engaging with the world around them? Do you find yourself wondering if your child's love for video games is crossing the line into addiction? In this episode, hosts Meredith and Cathy delve into the pressing question: Is my teen addicted to video games? They explore the reasons behind the allure of video games and screens, challenge the notion of demonizing all video games, and discuss how certain games can offer benefits in various aspects of life. They highlight how parents can tell when it becomes problematic and share insights into navigating conversations around potentially addictive gaming or screentime behavior. In the end, it all boils down to finding the right balance for your kids and your family, inviting your kids into inquisitive and caring conversations, and reminding them that gaming and screentime are (and should be) considered a privilege and therefore something that can essentially, be taken away. 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:50] Is your child staring at a screen all day long?
[0:02:40] We dive into why kids love spending time playing video games or on a screen.
[0:04:20] Why we wouldn’t want to “demonize” all video games.
[0:07:20] Positive things that can come from gaming.
[0:08:45] The importance of building rapport with your child (about the game they’re playing).
[0:10:00] How you can tell if something is problematic.
[0:11:25] Strategies for navigating problematic (or addictive) gaming/ use of a device.
[0:14:00] Why it’s all about finding a balance.
[0:14:35] Approaching the conversation with inquiry and care (and not shaming).
[0:16:00] Setting boundaries, even if it isn’t a problem.
[0:17:00] Recommended boundaries for parents to implement.
[0:23:30] As you work toward balance, remember to set your kids up for success.
[0:25:00] Dropping the hammer: consequences that what work and those that perhaps don’t.
[0:27:45] The difference between a lecture and a conversation with your children.
[0:29:40] How to avoid pushing kids into becoming shady.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What Does a College Counselor Do?

College counseling can become a really tedious process that is often treated as a ‘one-size-fits-all’ blueprint model. At Village Coaches, we prefer to place emphasis on helping teenagers build important skills that they will use for life and figure out who they are while doing college counseling. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are breaking down what college counselors do, why our model is different from the norm, how meeting with students every week assists the process, and when the best time is to start college coaching. At Village, we don’t offer a generic model for every single student and instead, we help our kids thrive and learn about themselves while building skills they will use in college and beyond. For us, it’s about the long game and college counseling is just one of the many times your kids will encounter uncertainty and challenges. We even discuss why our students come to discuss college issues with us once they have already transitioned from high school. Lastly, we remind you that teenagers are smarter than we think and know themselves more than we give them credit for. You don’t want to miss this one so tune in now!
 
Key Points From This Episode:
 
[0:01:41] Why we want to discuss what college counseling looks like. 
[0:02:51] How we define college counseling and the role of a college counselor.
[0:08:24] The Village college counselor model and why that feels different from others.
[0:13:21] Why we love meeting with students every week. 
[0:18:02] How our students manage transitioning into college and why they talk to us about it.
[0:21:32] What Village Coaches offers that other college counselors don’t.
[0:25:11] The best time to start college counseling.
[0:30:28] The beauty of getting to do college coaching the way that we want to.
[0:32:26] Why we approach kids with curiosity and trust that they know themselves. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram