Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

It’s Meredith’s Turn! Insights From Our Resident Teen Whisperer

Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are chatting to one of our hosts, Meredith Herrera about her life and career so our listeners can better get to know her. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about what drew Meredith to education, almost working for the Secret Service, the school administrative roles she’s had throughout her career, and more! We delve into why Meredith doesn’t actually find teenagers exhausting and what she loves about working with them before discussing what teens need from the adults around them. Finally, Meredith tells us what she would be doing if she weren’t an educator. To hear all this and so much more, press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:03:20] A bit about Meredith’s background and what drew her to education. 
[0:06:33] Her job offer for the Secret Service and what the training was like. 
[0:09:38] The different kinds of roles Meredith has had in schools throughout her career.
[0:13:42] What Meredith likes about working with teenagers.
[0:18:34] Meredith outlines what teenagers need from the adults around them.
[0:25:52] What Meredith would do if she weren’t an educator. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Meredith Herrera 
Meredith Herrera on LinkedIn
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How Do I Make My Kid More Resilient?

Kids today, with their readily available smartphones, so easily avoid uncomfortable situations. But if we, as parents, constantly try to “fix” life for them, are we setting them up for a successful life as adults? Today we broach an idea in adolescent development, terminology you might have heard before; Orchid Children or Dandelion Children. These terms are often used to describe the temperaments of certain kids (even though not everyone is squarely an Orchid or a Dandelion). Join the conversation as Meredith and Cathy dive into what is meant by Orchid and Dandelion kids and we share tons of real-life examples of how low-distress tolerance children react to uncomfortable situations. They delve into the parental instinct to “fix” our child’s discomfort, the moral of today’s episode, and how the realness of this topic can have dire consequences in later adolescence and adulthood. Don’t miss out on all the insightful nuggets and practical tips for navigating children with low distress tolerance, on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. Thanks for tuning in!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:30] What we want to talk about in this week’s episode.
[0:02:04] Cathy explains what is meant by Orchid and Dandelion kids.
[0:05:30] We dive into why Orchid kids can be harder to parent than Dandelion kids.
[0:06:15] Sensitivity versus fragility.
[0:07:00] What we see (most) in the kids we work with.
[0:10:30] Examples of how low-distress tolerance children react to uncomfortable situations.
[0:17:30] We chat about Cathy’s lack of shyness (both now and growing up).
[0:19:20] Our instincts as parents to “fix” our child’s discomfort.
[0:19:44] A quick disclaimer of what we are not talking about.
[0:20:15] Cathy shares a real-life example of a response from parents.
[0:23:14] The moral of today’s episode: kids need to do hard things.
[0:24:40] Our thoughts on today’s kids getting their driver’s licenses.
[0:25:52] The Chicken with Bones in It story.
[0:29:00] When “this stuff” gets real: building emotional stress tolerance.
[0:29:55] What Cathy tells the kids she sees who are struggling with this.
[0:31:55] How we encourage kids that they have what it takes to do what is needed.
[0:33:00] Practical tips for navigating children with low-distress tolerance.
[0:35:10] Meredith walks listeners through the T-I-P strategy.
[0:40:00] What we recommend not to do.
[0:44:44] Phrases you can stick on their wall.
[0:47:30] Normalizing being bad at something new.
[0:49:40] The importance of parents working out their own issues.
[0:54:14] Being demonstrative about your child’s accomplishment of a hard thing.
[0:56:00] #Growth.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Am I Too Easy on My Kid?

Finding the balance between holding your children accountable and having boundaries while keeping the peace and happiness in the home is a delicate task. In today’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are unpacking one of the most difficult issues parents face and helping you figure out if you’re too easy on your kid. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about our approaches with teens, why they often see us as harder on them than their parents are, why you have to hold your children accountable, and much more! We delve into defining your family standards, how to include children in that process, and why peace isn’t always possible before we discuss the dangers of talking too much. Your child’s future and ability to be a well-rounded, successful human is more important than being liked by your teenager and today, we remind you that you aren’t always going to be liked by your teenager and why that’s okay! Finally, we touch on sustaining yourselves as parents instead of relying on gratification from your children. This is an incredibly important episode so be sure to press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:08] One of the biggest issues parents face: how to know if they are finding the best balance between peace and boundaries with their children. 
[0:05:43] How we approach the work we do with teenagers and why we are harder on them than their parents are. 
[0:12:21] Why asking students how they feel about their academic choices is so beneficial. 
[0:14:12] The importance of holding your teens accountable as parents. 
[0:17:09] Defining your standards as a family, including older children, and accepting that peace is not always possible. 
[0:20:43] The dangers of talking too much and lecturing adolescents and why trust and respect are imperative. 
[0:27:03] How communities of parents can be supportive and why you cannot rely on gratification from your teenagers to sustain yourself. 
[0:29:31] Why you do not need to be liked by your teenager and do not always have to like them. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What is Teen Life Coaching?

Teen coaching is about helping teenagers with academics, college, self-esteem, self-awareness, and so much more! It’s basically all about coaching them in life! Today we are peeling back the layers of what we do every day and explaining all things teenage life coaching to you. Listening in, you’ll hear what teen life coaching actually is, why we got into it and why Cathy started Village Coaches, how we approach our work, the importance of trust, rapport, and respect, and much more! We then discuss the most common topics we discuss in coaching sessions before we talk about why coaching isn’t right for every kid and what we do not do in sessions. We even delve into some examples of how we build relationships with our clients. Finally, we share how vulnerable we get with teens in our coaching sessions and how that builds rapport. To hear all this and so much more, press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:10] What teen life coaching actually is. 
[0:03:05] Why we started coaching teenagers. 
[0:09:12] How we approach our work and the importance of building a relationship with the teenagers we coach. 
[0:17:36] The most common teen life coaching topics we delve into and how we know what to focus on. 
[0:32:38] Why coaching is not right for every kid, who is and isn’t a good fit, and what we avoid doing in sessions. 
[0:47:55] How vulnerable we get with our kids in sessions.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How To Have a Productive Conversation About Grades

Typically, teenagers aren’t always super open, available, or excited to tell you about their report cards. That’s why, in today’s episode, we’re spilling the beans about how you can have a productive, constructive, and empathetic conversation about grades with your teen and help them go from grade-obsessed panic to independently accepting responsibility for their academic performance. Tune in as we discuss the importance of checking in regularly, asking open-ended questions, being curious about your kid’s academic life, getting additional context from their teachers, focusing on performance rather than achievement, and much more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:41] Counterproductive ways our parents talked to us about our report cards.
[0:03:05] How we coach kids (and parents) to discuss their academic performance.
[0:04:44] Why you shouldn’t make the conversation all about the letter/number grade.
[0:07:00] Open-ended, reflective ways to talk about grades before grades come out.
[0:09:51] The role that schools and teachers play in cultivating a fixation on grades.
[0:12:58] Reasons to talk about learning and performance rather than achievement.
[0:15:39] Making a habit of checking in regularly versus only discussing poor grades.
[0:18:22] Strategies to help your teens succeed, regardless of external circumstances.
[0:25:13] How to know if a tutor would be a helpful tool for your teen.
[0:26:37] When it’s appropriate to contact the school or a teacher about a specific grade.
[0:31:25] Our opinion on why tutors should be temporary.
[0:34:42] Key themes and takeaways from this conversation.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Pick a College Major Wisely

Embarking on the journey of higher education often begins with a pivotal decision: choosing a college major. Choosing a college major wisely is crucial because it sets the foundation for your academic journey and, to an extent, your professional path. Making a thoughtful choice can align your studies with your interests, skills, and career aspirations, increasing the likelihood of satisfaction and success in your future endeavors. It can also be a stressful time for parents who often worry about their child's future, but fear not, we are here to help! In this episode, we delve into selecting a major that aligns with your passions, skills, and future aspirations. We discuss how to uncover your passion, what majors should be avoided, and common mistakes students when picking majors. Discover why it's okay not to have a clear-cut career path before stepping into college and the benefits of cultivating broad interests beforehand. We also unpack the pitfalls of prioritizing monetary gain over passion, the risks of choosing high-demand majors for the wrong reasons, effective approaches for students to explore the diversity of available majors, changing majors during college, and much more! Join us as we navigate the complexities of selecting a college major and how to empower students and parents in this crucial decision-making process. Tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:00] Introduction and outline of today’s topic: how to pick a college major wisely.
[0:02:18] Why your child does not need to have a clear career direction before college.
[0:03:55] Cultivating your child's broad interests ahead of applying for college.
[0:07:15] Leveraging what your child does not like to uncover their interests.
[0:10:15] Working with students who are certain about their interests and career path.
[0:11:50] High-demand majors that get picked for the wrong reasons.
[0:13:52] Approaches for helping students to learn about the different majors available.
[0:17:34] The pitfalls of choosing majors solely for monetary gain.
[0:18:42] Changing majors during college and why it is normal.
[0:20:28] Advice for students and parents worried about future career opportunities.
[0:24:15] Discover the majors that are sequential in coursework structure.
[0:25:13] Common mistakes students make when choosing their majors.
[0:30:14] Closing comments and final takeaways.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How Do I Prepare My Kid for College Admissions?

The college admissions process can be intimidating for even the brightest of students. And, as a parent, you might be wondering how you can help your child prepare for this important chapter. That’s where we come in! We use today’s conversation to get into three key qualities that will help teens take on the college admissions process with confidence, ease, and even excitement! Tuning in you’ll learn why these characteristics are so helpful within the admissions process, how you can foster these qualities within your children, and why it’s never too early (or too late) to start. Discover the immense value of self-awareness, how a healthy reading habit can encourage critical thinking, methods for inspiring intellectual curiosity in your kids, and much more! Don't miss out — equip your child for a brighter academic future today!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:21] An overview of today’s topic: how to prepare your kids for college admissions.
[0:02:59] The value of fostering self-awareness in your kids from a young age.
[0:04:52] Ways that schooling can undermine self-knowledge and reflection.
[0:07:24] How to help cultivate self-awareness in your kids early on.
[0:09:50] Modeling self-awareness as a parent and how to get better at it.
[0:14:15] Why fostering a love of reading from a young age is so beneficial.
[0:19:22] Thoughts on audiobooks, graphic novels, and other avenues into reading.
[0:23:08] Other forms of media, like podcasts, that introduce youngsters to good writing.
[0:27:13] Advice on how to foster intellectual curiosity in children.
[0:31:18] Unpacking how the rigidity of schooling can fail to encourage intellectual curiosity.
[0:33:05] What parents and teachers can do to cultivate intellectual curiosity in children.
[0:36:22] The benefits of deciding to ‘not travel like a tourist’ with your kids.
[0:40:28] Why you should encourage these qualities for more than just the college admissions process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
SYTWTY Podcast Episode: Is Private School or Public School Better?
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview with Village Founder, Cathy Chen: From College Drop-Out to Harvard Grad

Welcome to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Today we are doing an exclusive interview with our very own Cathy Chen to get to know her a little bit better. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about her early life as an immigrant, why she wasn’t a ‘good girl’, her college experience, and how her childhood influenced her career choices. We delve into her journey at Menlo before discussing Village Coaches and how it’s changed her life. Cathy tells us the best and worst parts of her job and finally, tells us about her private life and why she thinks she would be a Broadway star in an alternate universe. This episode is fun-filled and entertaining as we get personal with our very own host, so be sure to press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:09] Cathy tells us about her upbringing as an immigrant. 
[0:03:58] Being a ‘naughty’ child, her not-so-great grades, and getting into college. 
[0:07:53] How Cathy’s formative years influenced her career decisions.
[0:16:14] The different roles Cathy had at Menlo School and her journey there. 
[0:20:33] What led to the creation of Village Coaches and how she formed it.
[0:26:15] Cathy tells us what she enjoys most and least about her work with teenagers.
[0:31:57] Her life outside of work and why she’d be on Broadway if she weren’t doing this.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview with Jon Burdick, Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University

Have you ever wondered how to make your character stand out to impress those highly selective institutions? The answer may surprise you - it's all about being effortlessly yourself. Joining us on the show today is Jon Burdick, a good friend and former colleague with an impressive track record, including positions as Vice Provost and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid at the University of Rochester and, more recently, as Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University. Tune in to hear Jon's insights on admissions trends, understanding 'highly rejective' schools, and his advice for those considering highly selective institutions like Cornell. He stresses the point of understanding your why and provides valuable insights on school rankings. We then dive into a discussion on character and its role in the admissions process, and he highlights why it's crucial to show integrity (and how easy it is to spot disingenuous line items on applications!) He continues to share his thoughts on AI tools and other tools he’d like to see schools leverage. Be sure not to miss out on this insightful conversation with an admissions professional, so start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] A special welcome and introduction to our guest, Jon Burdick!
[0:03:45] He shares some of the biggest trends and changes happening in admissions.
[0:06:45] Highly rejective schools: what it means and the process it entails.
[0:08:05] Jon’s general advice to those pursuing highly selective schools (like Cornell).
[0:09:50] Why it’s worth asking yourself why you want to go to a particular school.
[0:11:00] What Jon would like families to understand about school rankings.
[0:13:10] Advice to parents and students on how to approach rankings when applying.
[0:15:25] His thoughts on character and its role in the admissions process.
[0:17:00] How to demonstrate character in a way that matters to highly selective schools.
[0:19:00] Why integrity is crucial and why it’s easy to spot a disingenuous line item.
[0:20:00] AI tools: their use (or misuse) and potential impact on the admissions process.
[0:24:00] His thoughts on students using AI for writing purposes.
[0:26:10] Other tools Jon would like to see schools leverage (like interviews and tests).
[0:31:00] Why he believes life is not a straight sprint.
[0:33:00] Stripping it back to the things we know, for sure, about humans.
[0:34:25] Why good teaching actually matters and finding ways to support teachers.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Jonathan Burdick on LinkedIn
Jonathan Burdick on X
Ask Dean B
The Character Initiative
Mastery Transcript Consortium
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Is Greek Life Right For My Child?

Have you ever wondered what happens behind fraternities and sororities’ closed doors on college campuses? Is your child interested in participating in Greek life but you are not sure if it is the right fit for them? In this episode, we delve into the heart of fraternity and sorority life, exploring what it means to be part of a Greek organization, the pros and cons of joining, and the unique experiences it offers. From the camaraderie and networking opportunities to the controversies and misconceptions, we lay it all out for you, helping you decide whether Greek life is right for your child. Gain insights into the aspects your child needs to be aware of before joining, the mysterious rush process, the responsibilities that come with pledging, and much more. Whether you're a curious student, a concerned parent, or simply an intrigued listener, we offer valuable advice to help you make the right decision for your child. To uncover the secrets of this fundamental aspect of the college experience, tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:45] Episode outline: should your kid join a sorority or fraternity?
[0:02:15] Cathy talks about her college sorority experience.
[0:04:00] Meredith shares why she chose not to join a sorority. 
[0:07:42] How Greek Life can vary from college to college.
[0:11:02] Learn about the benefits and value of participating in Greek Life.
[0:15:00] Hear about the downsides of participating in a sorority or fraternity.
[0:19:15] Insights into “rush”, its purpose, and what it entails.
[0:25:08] What parents need to accept about Greek Life: substances and partying.
[0:27:35] Essential advice and recommendations for parents.
[0:31:05] The ins and outs of the pledging process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram