Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

NACAC 2025 Conference Recap: College Admissions Trends, AI, and Key Takeaways

It's the Conference of all Conferences in the world of admissions: the National Association of College Admission Counseling, or NACAC. As the primary governing body for all aspects of admission, NACAC sets the tone for the year. Today, Cathy and Meredith dive into Cathy’s latest experience at the NACAC Conference. They unpack the biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker, explore the emerging trends and patterns in admissions, and discuss how colleges are navigating and adapting to the use of AI. Plus, Cathy shares her infamous NACAC 2025 dress debacle and breaks down NACAC’s crazy session titled "The Plight of the Standard Strong Student." For all this, and a candid discussion on the organization's professionalism, start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] We introduce today’s topic of conversation.
[0:02:00] Cathy sums up the conference in (roughly) four words.
[0:04:00] The biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker.
[0:10:40] What we’re hearing in terms of trends and patterns in admissions.
[0:13:04] How colleges have adjusted applications as a result of AI.
[0:15:00] We comment on the professionalism of the organization (NACAC).
[0:19:30] The NACAC 2025 dress debacle.
[0:21:30] The crazy session at NACAC 2025: the plight of the standard strong student.
[0:23:00] A teaser for a future episode on a standard strong student.
[0:26:10] Final thoughts on NACAC.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
NACAC
Brené Brown
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Why Nagging Your Teen Doesn’t Work (and What to Do Instead)

Nagging is a common tactic used by parents to get their teens to do what they’re told. But how effective is it really? And could it be doing more harm than good? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are touching on the very relatable topic of nagging! Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why parents tend to nag their teens, how effective it is, the damage it could do, and more! We delve into some more positive behaviours you can engage in instead of nagging, before discussing the power of helping your kids take control of their own schedules and setting natural consequences instead of nagging. Finally, we discuss how to find a balance between nagging and having no expectations of your children. Thanks for listening! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:38] Today’s topic of discussion: nagging. 
[0:03:38] Why parents nag and why it sometimes works.
[0:07:27] Nagging as a form of controlling behavior.
[0:09:15] How effective nagging actually is.
[0:13:42] What to do as a parent instead of nagging.
[0:22:13] Empowering your kids to take control and setting consequences.
[0:23:40] The danger of overcorrecting to the other extreme of nagging.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Parenting Tips for the New School Year: Mental Health, Modeling, and Realistic Expectations

We are thrilled about everything we have lined up—and are still lining up—for Season five! To kick things off, we're talking about parenting essentials for the new school year. After watching a MasterClass on parenting, we knew we had to start this season by sharing some key principles to get you ready for another year. Join us as we delve into some key points from the MasterClass, including the importance of parental mental health, why what we model has a more profound effect on our children than the words we use, why parents need to stop optimizing, and how to identify optimization. We also highlight the definition of what “high stakes” with your child actually include, the importance of your relationship with your children, and why it’s crucial you love the heck out of them! For all this, and more, be sure to tune in now.  
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Welcome to episode one of season five!
[0:01:30] Today’s topic of conversation: a master class in parenting.
[0:03:50] Why the mental health and well-being of parents is not optional.
[0:06:00] Go to therapy: it’s nothing new and has been happening for generations! 
[0:08:00] You (the parent) are not solely your child; you have a separate identity.
[0:09:30] We teach more with our behaviors than with our words.
[0:12:30] Feeling joy and purpose without disappearing completely into your child’s life.
[0:13:05] Stop optimizing: think of yourself as a shepherd and not an engineer.
[0:14:45] How do you know if you’re optimizing as a parent?
[0:17:15] Why the stakes aren’t nearly as high as you think they are.
[0:17:50] Distinguish your kid from who they are as a human, from what they do.
[0:18:45] We define what “high stakes” actually are (when it comes to your child).
[0:22:33] The importance of your relationship with your child.
[0:23:45] What we mean when we say a protective relationship.
[0:26:45] Loving the hell out of your kids.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Personal Values Sort App Apple
MasterClass
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Welcome to Season 5!

We are back with season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Make sure you join us every week as we give you the low down on all the shit your teenagers won’t tell you, because trust us, there’s a lot of it! We are pumped and ready to line up some amazing things for you in this new season, and be sure to also let us know what you want to learn about. Whether that be parenting struggles or navigating difficult challenges with your teens, we don’t shy away from anything. Because, let’s face it, we’ve seen it all! Follow us and stay tuned for episode one! 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:46] Welcome to season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You!
[0:01:30] Celebrating 50! 
[0:03:00] Highlights of our summers.
[0:05:25] What we’re excited about for season five.
[0:06:20] The importance of reading.
[0:07:30] Exciting things we will line up for season five.
[0:08:30] Follow us, and tell your friends to follow us too, for season five!
[0:09:00] Stay tuned for episode one!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Meredith Herrera Consulting
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

That's a Wrap for Season 4

This episode marks the end of our fourth season, and we’re taking the opportunity to share some insights we’ve gained over this time, with a special focus on what we have seen over the school year. We discuss some of the trends that have continued and increased and new ones we’ve noticed in the kids we work with. We touch on the power of boredom and why the true practice of gentle parenting shouldn’t mean permissiveness. Our conversation also dives into themes we’ve noticed in the world of college admissions in the past year, including gender bias and funky waitlists. Lastly, we discuss some of our plans for the coming year, including celebrating Cathy’s 50th birthday cancer-free. Thanks for listening. 
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:48] Reflections on four years of hosting this podcast. 
[0:02:40] How the past year has differed from previous years and what has stayed the same.
[0:05:20] What has changed in middle and high school education.
[0:07:09] A year-on-year trend around reading and speaking.
[0:10:31] How boredom can facilitate finding what your kids are truly interested in.
[0:11:38] Gentle parenting, consequences, and permissiveness.
[0:15:55] Themes in the world of college admissions this year.
[0:20:11] Funky waitlists and weird offers.
[0:22:00] Our plans for the coming year. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Helping Teens Navigate Life: Expert Insights from School Counselor Jake Fauver

Have you ever wondered what the exciting, challenging, and confusing teenage years look like from the perspective of someone who sees it first-hand? And have you considered how insightful that perspective can be for you as a parent? Today, we are joined by school counselor, Jake Fauver, to discuss the most common struggles teenagers face and how parents can help them navigate this transformative time. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the dangerous world of comparison for teens, how parents can become aware of internal struggles (even when it seems like their kid is fine), how to get boys to open up, and so much more! We delve into Jake’s role as a school counselor and hear about common issues he’s dealt with this week before discussing common myths about teenagers. Jake even shares some advice for parents about how to navigate difficult conversations with their teenagers. Finally, our guest discusses the importance of helping your teenagers see different perspectives. Thanks for listening in!  
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:19] Introducing today’s guest, school counselor, Jake Fauver.  
[0:03:51] The danger of the world of comparison for teenagers. 
[0:07:16] How parents can evaluate the mental health of their high-functioning teens.
[0:10:31] Jake shares some tips for getting teenage boys to talk to people.
[0:14:36] The kinds of challenges teenagers spoke to Jake about this week
[0:19:13] Jake tells us exactly what he does as a school counselor. 
[0:20:56] Some tips on how to navigate difficult conversations for parents of teens. 
[0:24:52] Jake debunks some common myths about teenagers. 
[0:33:12] When and how to challenge your teenagers’ perspectives. 
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Jake Fauver on LinkedIn
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Helping Teens Reflect and Reset: Ending the School Year with Purpose

The end of the school year can be a whirlwind, both for teens and their parents! In this episode, Cathy and Meredith explore how to help your teenager close out the academic year with reflection and a sense of purpose. They unpack why May is such an emotionally complex month, how to prioritize conversations about growth rather than grades, and why summer is an ideal time for deeper check-ins. From celebrating quiet wins to letting go of disappointments with compassion, this episode is packed with insights on how to shift the focus from performance to progress. You’ll also hear why these conversations aren’t about fixing problems but creating space for your teen to feel seen, heard, and supported. Tune in to learn how to wrap up the school year in a way that sets the stage for a stronger, more intentional start to the next one!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:52] What teens and parents might be feeling as the year wraps up.
[0:03:05] Choosing the right time to check in with your kids (when they aren’t too busy).
[0:04:49] Questions to help them reflect on the past year.
[0:06:29] Why you should praise your kid for growth, not just achievement.
[0:09:33] A story of growth and self-confidence that Cathy observed in one of her kids.
[0:11:50] Meredith’s account of a moment of empathy that shifted one student’s perspective.
[0:12:56] Helping teens process disappointment with acceptance and compassion.
[0:16:04] Give kids space over summer for decompression and reflection.
[0:16:56] Making time to set intentions for the new school year.
[0:18:49] Final tips on how to create a space where kids can authentically talk about their feelings.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Too Much Homework, Not Enough Sleep: Parenting Teens Through Academic Pressure

What do you do when your teen insists they can’t go to bed because they still have hours of homework left, and you know they desperately need sleep? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack the nightly standoff between academic pressure and teen well-being. They dig into what’s really happening when teens claim they “don’t have time,” and explore the common culprits behind late-night work sessions, from overscheduling and distraction to anxiety and perfectionism. You’ll hear how to play the short game and the long game simultaneously as a parent, when to hold the line, and when to ask better questions. This episode also offers ways to bring teens into problem-solving, prioritize family values, and rethink what “success” should actually look like. Tune in for insights, empathy, and real-world strategies, plus a few rogue metaphors and laughs along the way!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:22] The sleep vs. homework dilemma teens and parents face.
[0:07:09] How parents can help their kids balance sleep with school work.
[0:14:09] Identifying the causes behind “I don’t have enough time” claims.
[0:15:51] How mental health issues like perfectionism or ADHD can impact homework time.
[0:16:59] The hidden time drain: distractions teens don’t realize are happening.
[0:18:28] Why teens need real breaks after long days, not just go straight to homework.
[0:21:12] Modern teen schedules compared to previous generations.
[0:22:32] Why kids are overscheduled due to selective college pressures.
[0:23:17] Using family values to guide academic and well-being decisions.
[0:25:10] Helping teens build problem-solving skills instead of just enforcing rules.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Supporting College Dreams Without Crushing Them: Helping Teens Build Realistic Admissions Goals

The college journey puts parents and counselors in a delicate position: walking the fine line between dream supporter and dream crusher. Join Cathy and Meredith in their post-Spring Break episode as they dive into how you can both encourage and champion your kids while helping them maintain a healthy degree of balance while crafting their dream school list. They unpack the difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process is, how to balance goals and ambition with reality, the danger of dangling the carrot of a highly selective school in front of your children, and explore the reasons why trying (and applying to all the highly selective schools in the country) can be problematic! For all this, and as always, much more, be sure to tune in now! Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:10] What we got up to for Spring Break 2025.
[0:02:10] The topic of today’s episode: dream supporter vs dream crusher.
[0:04:00] A common tightrope parents often have to walk.
[0:05:30] Identifying schools with higher acceptance rates that still reflect the qualities and characteristics of your child’s top-choice, highly selective schools.
[0:06:15] The difference between having a dream and being delusional about what the college admissions process truly is.
[0:07:45] Unpacking what a “Dream School” is: balancing goals and ambition with reality.
[0:08:50] The danger of using highly selective colleges as a carrot for students to work hard.
[0:09:30] Why the “reality” part of college admissions is hard for parents.
[0:12:40] Parents displacing the dream-crushing conversation: when it’s okay and not.
[0:17:00] Can you support the dream but also balance the fine line of reality?
[0:18:40] Where, as a parent, are you willing to disappoint your child, and where are you not?
[0:19:40] Encouraging your child to go after what they want with a healthy dose of balance.
[0:21:00] What’s wrong with trying? (Applying to all the highly selective schools in the country.)
[0:22:55] What supporting the dream does and does not mean (in our opinions).
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Debunking Forbes’ Claims: Do Elite Summer Programs Really Give Your Child an Edge?

We recently read a Forbes article about why your kid needs to attend a competitive summer program, and we have some thoughts. Join us as we get the facts straight about the article in question and break down what you need to be aware of when it comes to these expensive summer programs that claim to give your child an edge when applying for elite colleges. Find out how many of these programs misrepresent themselves (like by suggesting they are more selective than they are), the handful of programs that are credible, and how to tell the difference. We also discuss how these articles are specifically targeted at parents and teens, why their contribution to the media ecosystem is so harmful, and how to recognize when you are being marketed to. Tune in to get the full scoop on what to be aware of when it comes to these summer programs and their bold claims!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:42] The Forbes article we are discussing and why we are annoyed by it.
[0:02:30] Article points we agreed with and the benefits of a program like this.
[0:02:56] Why a summer program won’t necessarily help you stand out at elite colleges.
[0:03:53] A breakdown of how many of these programs misrepresent themselves.
[0:05:43] Clarifying which summer school programs are as selective as they claim.
[0:08:36] How parents can navigate misinformation, especially regarding these programs.
[0:10:37] A reminder that you cannot control the outcomes of highly selective colleges.
[0:11:57] Critiques on how dishonest and exploitative these types of articles can be.
[0:14:37] What truly matters for your child’s long-term development.
[0:16:50] How you can get in touch with questions and suggestions about today’s topic.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
'Why Your High Schooler Should Attend A Competitive Academic Summer Program—And Which Ones You Can Still Apply To'COSMOS Pre-College ProgramSh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell YouSh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram