How Do I Make My Kid More Resilient?

Kids today, with their readily available smartphones, so easily avoid uncomfortable situations. But if we, as parents, constantly try to “fix” life for them, are we setting them up for a successful life as adults? Today we broach an idea in adolescent development, terminology you might have heard before; Orchid Children or Dandelion Children. These terms are often used to describe the temperaments of certain kids (even though not everyone is squarely an Orchid or a Dandelion). Join the conversation as Meredith and Cathy dive into what is meant by Orchid and Dandelion kids and we share tons of real-life examples of how low-distress tolerance children react to uncomfortable situations. They delve into the parental instinct to “fix” our child’s discomfort, the moral of today’s episode, and how the realness of this topic can have dire consequences in later adolescence and adulthood. Don’t miss out on all the insightful nuggets and practical tips for navigating children with low distress tolerance, on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. Thanks for tuning in!

Key Points From This Episode:

• [0:01:30] What we want to talk about in this week’s episode.
• [0:02:04] Cathy explains what is meant by Orchid and Dandelion kids.
• [0:05:30] We dive into why Orchid kids can be harder to parent than Dandelion kids.
• [0:06:15] Sensitivity versus fragility.
• [0:07:00] What we see (most) in the kids we work with.
• [0:10:30] Examples of how low-distress tolerance children react to uncomfortable situations.
• [0:17:30] We chat about Cathy’s lack of shyness (both now and growing up).
• [0:19:20] Our instincts as parents to “fix” our child’s discomfort.
• [0:19:44] A quick disclaimer of what we are not talking about.
• [0:20:15] Cathy shares a real-life example of a response from parents.
• [0:23:14] The moral of today’s episode: kids need to do hard things.
• [0:24:40] Our thoughts on today’s kids getting their driver’s licenses.
• [0:25:52] The Chicken with Bones in It story.
• [0:29:00] When “this stuff” gets real: building emotional stress tolerance.
• [0:29:55] What Cathy tells the kids she sees who are struggling with this.
• [0:31:55] How we encourage kids that they have what it takes to do what is needed.
• [0:33:00] Practical tips for navigating children with low-distress tolerance.
• [0:35:10] Meredith walks listeners through the T-I-P strategy.
• [0:40:00] What we recommend not to do.
• [0:44:44] Phrases you can stick on their wall.
• [0:47:30] Normalizing being bad at something new.
• [0:49:40] The importance of parents working out their own issues.
• [0:54:14] Being demonstrative about your child’s accomplishment of a hard thing.
• [0:56:00] #Growth.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

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